Tax Credits Check

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  • #20261 Report


    I have a little boy who has been diagnosed with autism, audio processing disorder, rhythmic movement disorder and possibly ADHD, dyslexia and a genetic disorder these are still being looked into.


    I separated from my son’s father before he was born so we have never been together. We spent many years arguing and in and out of court over contact and what was best for our son. We lived on opposite sides of the country so everything as you can imagine was difficult. At our last outing at court we decided to put our differences to one side and work together and I agreed in a court order that I would move to the area where his father lived in order for me to keep full time custody and for them to form a relationship.

    His father works away so his flat was sat empty so myself and our son moved into it rent free instead of receiving maintenance payments, we have a written agreement. I sleep in the same bed as my son as he rocks violently throughout the night and I have since he was about 2. I informed Tax credits of the situation the day we moved in and I said if it was going to be an issue please stop my tax credits and the gentleman I spoke to said it wasn’t and it was a ‘no brainer’. Everything was fine then the move caused me to have a breakdown, I had no job, No friends and I was still looking after our son alone with no support and I had a breakdown.

    I got help eventually I ended up on anti depressants, a very high dosage, going to therapy and getting help through Community Restart but I was told I needed respite care and it was agreed that my son’s father would start to stop on a weekend, If he was free to give me a rest. I informed the council and we had to make a joint claim for council tax and I contacted Tax credits and explained to them the situation and they told me it was a grey area but as we are not a couple it was fine (I took a screen shot of the conversation and still have it).

    I have now recieved a letter saying that my son’s father is linked to the address and they want to check everything. He owns the property, he pays the mortgage, he stays at the property but I have informed them of all this.

    I have gathered everything they have asked for but I am so worried about this, I can’t cope on my own and I need that help from my son’s father and they have a lovely relationship now but he still won’t go on his own with his father because he doesn’t understand why he disappears for weeks on end while he is away, he even told his School his father was dead when he went away with work for a long period of time.

    Has anyone had any experience of this who can offer any advice. I have been so worried since I got the letter that I have had another breakdown and I am again on tablets and being referred back to minds matter.

    #20303 Report

    Hi there, I’m Justine one of the moderators.  I’m glad to see you are using the forum and I am sure other parents on here will be able to offer you some of their experiences and support.  In the meantime I will be sending you a personal message with some signposting options.


    #20317 Report


    Hello my name is sherima I would not worry because hmrc have to the necessary checks so it can be very daunting.

    Have you applied for  disability living allowance for your little boy? Have you contacted the children disability centre run by your localcouncil? Once you do all this you will receive lots of support and encouragement.  They will also invite your little one to play dates , parties and sea side trips if you are entitled to an activity grant . So please get in contact with them as they will also appoint a social worker to see how they can help you.

    Please don’t worry it will all be fine but please get in contact with your local council


    #20318 Report


    Thank you for replying!

    My little boy recieves DLA, Tax credits are aware. My original local council were amazing but this new one are awful. His school cancelled his EHC Plan by accident, they ticked the wrong box and the Council wouldn’t accept the mistake so I’ve spent the last year fighting the local authority to reinstate it and I had to get a solicitor and issue a prejudicial review. They openly admitted they have no help for me and the only help I can get is from Social Services if my child is at risk but he’s not at risk I just need a little help and some sleep which is where his dad comes in.

    I’m not entitled to housing benefit because I don’t pay rent, I’m not entitled to go on their housing list because I have no affiliation to the area and haven’t lived here for 3 years yet, I was told I couldn’t claim JSA because I gave up my job, which I did to move.

    I don’t think I could cope with much more at the minute and the form says I should of been making a joint claim if someone stays only sometimes but they told me I didn’t need to make a joint claim because we aren’t a couple even if he did stay.

    I’m just worried if I go by what they say I am admitting to something I have not done and tbey will fine me and want the tax credits back, but if I don’t go by what they are saying they are going to fine me and want the money back because as far as they are concerned your ex shouldn’t help out and stay over but it’s not a simple situation. I really am lost with it all.

    #20325 Report


    This is not the first time I have heard the council messing up a child’s ehcp plan. The property I live in was in my ex name but I bought it off him when my little girl was born

    You know you might be entitled to direct payments where you can pay someone you know to help out and come and do some overnights . Maybe you could chat to the disability centre they have trained people who are able to advise you.

    I got overpaid with child care last year so am having to pay that back too.

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