Survive only on ex’s maintenance, worried about my future

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  • #38722 Report



    my husband walked out 3 years ago.

    we have 2 children, which he supports, and pays more than he legally is obliged to.  This helps us survive, but I have no

    spare money.
    I work part time for minimal wage as most of my married life i was a SAHM.
    in the next 8 years it is possible both my children may leave home to pursue their own lives, and I am already utterly terrified about what the future holds for me. I am not highly qualified, although I do have a few good skills.

    I have tried to gain employment but somehow I always seem to ‘just miss’ getting my foot in the door.
    I feel the years will pass quickly, I will find myself nearly 50 with no real way of supporting myself, and it completely terrifies me.
    I have tried to look into college but courses are so expensive, and if I gave up so much time I wouldn’t be able to work either.

    anyone been in my place?


    #38725 Report


    You need to start now to get your qualifications & experience up.  Build on whatever you already have. What interests you?  Or you could retrain completely? There are lots of options.

    The easiest thing you could do is move from part time to full time in your current job as soon as your children can get themselves home from school – the next year or two?

    Although I suspect it will all have to go on hold until the Corona emergency is over.

    #38727 Report


    Thanks Cathy.

    I’m a cleaner.

    im afraid from what I have seen there are very few options to

    retrain unless you already hold good qualifications or have a husband home ready to support with children/ finances to be able to do a full time course. There does not seem to be much help to single parents who don’t already earn a good wage or have help with childcare, and I have neither.

    further my experience in working with children will cost nearly £800 and giving up any work to volunteer as part of the course.

    its just not viable for me. There must be a way to ensure I’m not stuck in a rubbish job and possibly homeless come 8 years time, and I am fully prepared to try, but all I’ve found is dead ends. Is every single parent out there with a degree and career?  Is there anyone here who gave up their work to be at home like me? I’d love to hear from you!


    #38732 Report


    Hi Lissy,

    Have you heard of Future Learn? It’s online training, there’s all sorts of courses on it so you can do it in your own time.
    Would doing something like that help to build up your knowledge and skill set?



    #38742 Report


    Thanks Esther.

    ive had a look.
    Any more advice I would be grateful to hear from anyone.


    #38823 Report



    If your on a low wage you would be able to get help with college courses and sometimes there is help with childcare costs.There are also lots of courses online you can get help with so you should definitely look into it.

    I don’t have a degree or a particularly good job but I’m going to college around this to make a better future for myself.It is hard when you don’t have help but you can do it

    Hope this helps

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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