Support group for older kids without a dad?

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  • #27863 Report

    rach6288
    Participant

    Hello!

     

    Hoping someone might be able to help me. My daughter is 8 and we have been doing the mum and daughter thing alone for 7 of those years. Her dad left when she was a baby and he completely cut off all communication very quickly after he left.

    Ive always been (age appropriately) honest with her, so she knows there’s a guy out there that helped make her and that he made some bad decisions and chose not to be a dad. She a very very emotional child and sometimes really struggles with this. Sometimes she’s fine and accepts this is our normal!

    A lot of her sadness seems to stem from the fact she’s “the only one in my class without a dad”. Lots of kids who’s parents don’t live together… but she doesn’t remember her dad and feels like she’s missing something (even though I’ve worked very hard to try and avoid her feeling like this)

    So my question! Are there any support groups for older kids (5-10 years?) of lone parents? I think meeting other kids in the same situation will make her see she’s not alone. A lot of the support groups seem aimed at the parents and that’s fab but are there any for children?

     

    Thanks for any help

     

    rachel x

    #27866 Report

    Doris
    Participant

    I could have written this myself! I can’t offer any advice as I’m still trying to help my son as well. I am interested to see what others say so I hope you don’t mind me joining inn here

    #27867 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hi to you both.

    Have you checked to see if there’s any local gingerbread groups to you? Here’s a link

    https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/community/single-parent-groups/groups/

    Mark

    #27887 Report

    Hi Rach6288

    Thanks for making this important post.  Its good to see you are voicing the concerns you have for your daughter.  There will be many parents here that will have been in similar situations and it will be good to hear what they have to say.  In the meantime I am including the link to our information page designed for children of parents who have separated.  Have a look at the information and see if there is anything that may be of use to your daughter.

    Hope that helps, Justine

    #27905 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Thanks Justine, was looking for something like this for a friend a while ago to have that talk.  Thankfully the teachers in my son’s school were great when I separated and my son wasn’t the only one in the class so he’s had nothing but support but it was certainly something I was worried about at the time so I can empathise with Rach.  Either way even if your child is the only one in the class I’d encourage speaking to the teachers as nowadays diversity in families be it broken home, gender, fostering. Or even where the grandparents have had to become the full time main carers is something that should be part of the curriculum, and it helps overcome the “it’s just me”, and explore what it is to be a family.  The family ‘unit’ is something I struggled with as I do miss it but my son coped a lot better as in his mind he just has two family units now, they are just smaller “Its ok dad its just you and me now when it’s your turn and we are going to be ok” sometimes the simplicity and matter of fact of things once he works it out in his mind can surprise me.

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