So where do I begin…. me and my 5 y/o sons dad split from our 5 year relationship 4 years ago…which im very pleased about. We do not get along at all no matter how hard I try.. I have my son the most and as beautiful as my little boy is, sometimes I get very very overwhelmed because daddy let’s him get away with everything and when he comes home, im the bad guy. I get all his tantrums etc. My problem is that when I try and communicate with my sons father about his parenting and how we could work together, he’s verbally abusive. He does not like or respect me at all…He has a threatening and confrontational approach to any conversation I try and have with him so now I’ve just stopped.. he gives me anxiety so bad and im scared that his lack of respect for me is going to rub off on to my son. I dont know what to do..I’ve just written this fresh out of an argument with him that I did not want so apologies if its all over the place… I just need help. I want to do whats best for my son…
I understand your frustrations as all you are trying to do is co-parent and look out for what is best for your son. Rather than talk to him directly, have you tried an alternative communication method which makes you more comfortable. I can suggest something like email, WhatsApp as a start. Alternatively, there are parenting apps available for you to use; some are extremely beneficial in that they allow you to share school docs, shared calendar to record key dates.
You may also want to suggest mediation where the agenda would be for the both of you to develop parenting plans and then share ideas with the aim of arriving at a single consolidated plan that you both follow for your son regardless of whose home he is spending time at. This will give your son consistency and stability which they need at such a young age.
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