Struggling with mental health in isolation
25 October 2020 at 10:01 am #45094
Im really struggling with isolation. I feel immensely scared and trapped and Have my 3yr old boy to look after. I feel so terrible and im crying I have been awake for hours and im really tired and not well with this virus
How will i get through this. Also have had to break off from a relationship as he did not help or care it was hurtful so much
Im all over the place atm i dont know what to do. As i can even do anything as i cant go out. My little boy will suffer too and im heartbroken26 October 2020 at 6:16 am #45110
I just joined the site as I’m also struggling emotionally. I don’t have the virus but had an injury some weeks ago and can’t do a lot of things, plus I’m in pain.
One thing I’m going to do, and I don’t know if you want to give it a try, is talk to a doctor. I was on anti-depressants during the divorce, which I didn’t want to take but it helped. I was so happy to be off them last year but now there is too much to handle and my philosophy is if it helps us carry on – for ourselves and the kids – then we need all the help we can get. The anti-depressants I was given were non-addictive and didn’t change ‘me’ – it just kept the worst moods at bay so I could keep going.
I don’t have easy answers about isolation. As single parents we are allowed to ‘bubble’. I am bubbled with my parents. But I miss socialising with people my own age and being a person not just a mum. I moved to the area just before lockdown and don’t know anyone really. What is clear is that there are lots of single parents feeling like this. We just need to find each other.
It feels like the pandemic situation is going to last forever. It won’t be forever. Whatever happens, it’s probably going to be a tough winter but get better in the spring. I’m going to set myself a goal of getting through the week and not thinking about anthing else – just that week. Then the next week. And the next. Until it’s spring. What helps me get through are small things. A nice movie, for example.
Sometimes it’s whatever gets you through the next few hours. I am considering getting a cat or even a goldfish as a dog would be too much but being around animals is good for the soul.
We need to realise we are on survival mode and not hold ourselves to standards that might work in normal times but aren’t helpful now. I am angry at the government as they had the chance to make things better and they didn’t and now ordinary people are suffering again. Anger for me is something I sometimes bottle up if I’m not careful then it feeds into depression, so it’s better to say, ‘I am angry.’ I’m angry at my ex – that’s a valid feeling as dads should help and it’s disgraceful if they do not. It’s also ok to be sad and grieve what we have lost when we can’t live our lives.
If you need to hear a kind voice, Samaritans are there. I nearly called them today but it wasn’t the right moment – 116 123. http://www.samaritans.org
I’m also thinking of using a mental health app except I don’t know which ones are good and not gimmicky. I think a good one can help you cope by giving you tools and insights but equally there’s not a magic cure for the fact things are sh*t right now and one group it’s particularly hard for are single parents.
So basically I don’t have answers but I think if we know we are on survival mode, set a goal of getting to March/April whatever it takes, and trying to use whatever safe means we can find to get us there that might be one way to look at it. It doesn’t have to be pretty, we just have to last until things change. And it WILL change because nothing stays the same for long. Kids get more independent all the time. You can meet someone at the supermarket who becomes a new friend. Things can change for the better when we least expect it. It’s just how we get by until then.26 October 2020 at 6:51 am #45111
Hi thank you for your reply to my post. I went back on anti depressants a week ago, before I tested positive for the virus. I had been struggling anyway and I have been with a really awful person for over a year kept going back and he never changes so he makes me worse but I wont allow him to talk to me like he does and not give it back so I have blasted him and he hated it
Saying that it doesnt help living that way and a definite end is the only way to help. He wont change he doesnt show any care so why be with him.
I think its taught me after speaking to few people since i got the positive result that all that matters is i get better and the normal is different atm. It doesnt matter if the house gets a little untidy it doesnt matter if my son throws cushions on floor off sofa and jumps on them as long as he happy and safe then let him roll with it
Not able to go out is terrible especially for mental health and my son needs fresh air too. We have a yard but the rain makes it not an option really
The length of time is daunting. I wake every day and feel overwhelmed and worried about another day in
Its essy sitting down on sofa and im used to being on my own etc but not having our freedom is bad. I have to remember tho i have this virus and need to make sure im well
My ex isnt my sons Father my sons father never been involved so its just a long list of bad men to be with
Hope your ok