Struggling With Life
10 August 2021 at 10:15 pm #57436
Hi To Everyone.
My name is David
It has been a year now since me and my ex wife divorced and I have struggled to re build myself since. I don’t know how to socially connect with people. In work I tend to work a lot on my own and when there is conversation going on its mainly about football, Which I am not into. Then when I go home no one ever messages me to go out or even see if I am okay, I have tried messaging people to stay in touch and they generally write one message back and then nothing. It is getting me into such a depressed state I feel so disconnected from the world that every time it happens I just feel like I am crying on the inside, Pathetic I know but its genuinely how I feel.
Any advice would be much appreciated thank you10 August 2021 at 10:28 pm #57438
do you have family close by that you can hang around with? my kids don’t live with me, what motivated me most is just planning activities for when the next time I have them. when things are very quiet, I exercise, go for long walks, gaming. whereabouts are you based? feel free to message me.10 August 2021 at 10:47 pm #57440
Hi, I completely understand. Life is so hard nowadays! Not sure if it’s because I’m older or what! I moved here when my son was younger so everyone has friends from when they were at school and I’m always the newbie or because I’ve been working I never meet other parents as well! School holidays are the worse for me as not many adults around as I only have my parents near! I always have my daughter (son is 18 now) so some days even harder when you don’t speak to another adult but I try and get out for walks, do competitions (sad I know but keeps me busy) trying to live a bit more out of my comfort zone! Don’t give up! There is always people around 😊11 August 2021 at 12:30 am #57445
Maybe it’s about finding like minded people or a group who you share similar interests in, sometimes it’s not that we don’t have anything to say, it’s that we on some level have a feeling that someone isn’t like minded or doesn’t have similar interests and I think sometimes we don’t try or we switch off in their company, sometimes too I think if our confidence is a bit low we don’t want to take the gamble of starting a conversation on our terms… If that makes sense. Maybe it is a bit harder too in this busy world, and with social media etc to connect with people, maybe we are all so busy we miss out or don’t even get the chance to see who we could have stuff in common with. I live in a place where because I’ve lived here for quite some time, it would be ‘weird’if I suddenly started trying to make friends with people I’ve half known for yrrs and the friends I do have live really far away. Sometimes new people move in but they’re usually married with kids and they make friend with other couples and their kids all play together kind of situation. You say you don’t know how to socially connect, I find that hard too but unfortunately that doesn’t stop me talking the greatest load of rubbish!! through sheer nerves or something. in my head I’m telling myself to stop talking but it’s like I’ve half told a stupid or boring story so I have to race to finish it as I’m sure if they didn’t already think me odd they would if i stopped half way… I tried at one point to just stick to the weather but I’d make the same comment all the time, as if the weather never varied, rain or shine I’d say ‘I’d be happy with a bit more of this weather’ as it was pissing it down…!!! I went through a phase of answering questions people hadn’t asked through sheer nerves, honestly the crap I’ve talked, if only talking crap were a real life skill!!! So even though I yak away inside I’m struggling… Was even told to consider a career treating insomnia through conversation….! I guess there’s lots of ways people struggle, but I think it’s great you’ve tried to connect, I guess it’s when we stop trying that we risk slipping towards depression and I think it’s great too you are aware of what you need and what your feeling so you seem quite connected with yourself, which is great and will help you when you find others you can connect with. Maybe try and create some opportunities for connecting with others and push out the comfort zone or push out the time you make for yourself and these kinds of activities too?12 August 2021 at 8:24 pm #57489
Thanks to all who have commented, suddenly I feel this overwhelming feeling that people do care, it’s just finding the people who are on my vibration. I honestly can’t thank you all for the inspection and new hope you have given me. If there is anything I can write to in return please feel free to message me anytime 🙂13 August 2021 at 1:28 am #57496
Hi, I have been struggling too, it’s difficult. I am here if you ever want a chat. I’m new here and haven’t never spoke much to anyone. Hoping to make some new connections.