Struggling with being separated and a single dad

[northerndad2020]

Hi, title says it all, recently separated and struggling with it.  Not the most confident person and looking for some advice

[Jen]

Just do hour by hour day by day . It’s hard , and no fast fix . Talk to whoever will listen and take care of yourself . You will come out of this storm .

[Singlemum323]

What’s the biggest part of your struggle?

[Welshdad]

Focus on your kids as opposed to your ex and the relationship and everything else falls into place…dobt try to get too many things right straight away.  Sortt out visitation, where you are going to live abd sustainig work.  Once you got those basics and built a foundation the othef stuff is much easier.  Without those it all falls apart.  step one find your feet.

[northerndad2020]

Struggling with accepting it, not my choice, live in a small village with all her family around, my child is with me in the family home, so that adds to it, memories everywhere!  guess i feel isolated and tied

thanks for the advice, just hard

[Singlemum323]

You know what might help you feel better, this always helps me to gain strength and courage within myself.  Write down one day what the pros and cons were of your relationship!! This may help you to come to terms with your situation.  Be realistic in the list and tell yourself the truth, sometimes when we do this we, find strength in it to help us move forward.  Its just a little something that helps me everyday.

[northerndad2020]

Thanks for the advice, will give it a try.  Just cant seem to get past it as i did not see the breakup coming.  Cant seem to get my head around it, little one seems ok but worried about her.  People keep saying it will get better but cant seem to string more that a day together with out breaking down. Weekends are tough as this was family time adapting to a single parent tough.

[Jazzhands]

<li style=”text-align: left;”>Hi.

Not in the exact same boat as my wife died last year leaving me as a single dad with three boys but the end result is pretty similar. I am a shy and not very confident person…a natural introvert.

Before she died my wife told me to “find love again, rediscover your music, and start doing all the things you gave up for us”.

I have tried to do all of this, but the most important lesson I got out of this experience is to not put things off for some future time but to make the most of today.  I’ve been busier the last 4 months than I’ve been for years.  I’ve made a point to speak to old and new friends, arranged to see as many people as possible (evening drinks, coffee, meals at home), even though I don’t necessarily feel like it. When one is used to having another adult with them all the time it is hard when there isn’t someone to share life’s little achievements (I’ve just finished 4 loads of laundry) or be able to discuss every day decisions that need to be made.

I’ve become far more talkative and open with friends old and new and, I think, I’m better for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by Jazzhands.
• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by Jazzhands.

[rubyoliver]

Hi, been a single parent 7 years now and it’s tough, but yeah take it day by day , make sure you look after self to , is what I got told on a parenting course an has helped

[MrDad]

Hey YouHaveToStartSomewhere – I’m in a similar boat. Do you have an xbox or playstation? Helps to get out there and I’m a gamer may be we could play some time and support each other?

[northerndad2020]

Thank you so much for the kind words, helps a ton! Jazzhands your a true inspiration!

Amazing how many people are in the same boat and how poor the support is, even with the power of google!

This place and the people really help, keep up the good work all!

MrDad do have a xbox, work in IT all day……….not a gamer but thank you so much for the kind offer, i think i have two left hands when it comes to gaming!

[Jazzhands]

Thanks You have. I have learnt some valuable lesson during the hard times of recent months.  Feels like those lessons which come from hard and dark times are the most important to learn from and follow.

[MrDad]

Work in IT but not into games? That’s a shame 🙂 always happy to interact with other dads so if you think of anything else that might help – words with friends or scrabble or anything let me know 🙂

[Jazzhands]

I can play pc games and a bit of Xbox (the controllers tire my hands out). I work in IT too. 🙂

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by Jazzhands.

[northerndad2020]

After a day of messing with xml code i cant face any more microsoft! Must admit it does sit there looking at me, may get tempted one day!

[Author]

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