Struggling to maintain the home.
13 December 2019 at 5:41 pm #34020
I am feeling so overwhelmed. My home is becoming such a disorganized mess, I can’t keep up with the washing, making the food and generally keeping the place tidy. I just feel completely deflated and detached. I’m not strong at keeping routine and structure. I just feel isolated and incapable at providing a good role model for my kids. I wish I could have someone come in and help me understand how to implement routine and organisation. Any tips would be much appreciated.13 December 2019 at 6:27 pm #34021
How old are you little one/‘s?
I became a single parent before my little one was born and I really struggled with what you’re facing now. I was 33 and selfish, then I had to clean, tidy, sterilise and care for a little one! It took a few months to realise, it really doesn’t matter how tidy your house is and as long as the kid/‘s have clean clothes and a meal wether that be a quick meal or a thought out one…. you’re fine, you’re not a failure!! Never ever think you’re a failure when you’re raising children!
make batches of food that you can freeze you’ve always got a meal then and washing just pile lights and darks onto the kitchen/ bathroom floor and put a wash on once they’re in bed. Don’t let it overwhelm you. They honestly don’t give a shit about the things you’re worrying about!!! All they need is love! My little on is now 28 months old, she’s in and out of the house in her wellies and the mud covered dog follows! The house resembles a field 80% of the time!! But I can honestly say, she’s happy!
let go, don’t panic and enjoy the child/children 😉13 December 2019 at 6:29 pm #34023
Oh…. and routine?? Don’t worry about that! My little one has no bedtime routine never has and asks for bed by 7 and if we’re out she goes with the flow. Just breath, relax and enjoy them xx13 December 2019 at 7:00 pm #34024
I completely understand how you feel. I really struggled when I worked full time and had 3 kids to take care of. I hated the chaos and mess. Can you get someone to help you get on top of things? A friend or family member? Once you have everything in order it makes it easier to maintain. I usually start the mornings with the basics, dishes, bed making, general tidying. That takes about 40 mins. Then I do one job a day, I.e one day washing and putting away clothes, one day clean bathroom,one day dust and Hoover bedrooms etc. By doing a job each day it doesn’t take your entire day up, and it still gets done. Also depending on your kids ages, get them to help out. Mine are 8,10 and 13 and they all have their jobs to do (washing dishes in the evening, taking out rubbish etc)
As I said before I think the hardest part is getting on top of it all. Once you’re there it is manageable. I only work an hour a day now and quite often find I’m sat around with nothing to do as the house is in order. My baby is due in 8 weeks though so I’m trying to appreciate the boredom lol.
Good luck and I hope you get it sorted x15 December 2019 at 9:20 pm #34076
Honestly if you can get a cleaner do it even if once a month ☺ x16 December 2019 at 6:59 pm #34119
I had to teach myself to lower my expectations majorly and learn to live in more chaos. I realised I was getting overwhelmed with everything – cleaning / tidying the house, sorting finances etc – they all felt too big and scary. Breaking everything down into small chunks works so much better for me, I feeling I am getting things done, however small and that makes me feel good.
I had to get rid of my cleaner when I split with my ex, so it felt like yet another huge addition to my load. I change the towels and kids beds whilst the kids are splashing in the bath one night, they love messing around with the duvet covers being put on. My bed is done another night. Bathroom another night. Hoovering is usually on the weekend and the kids like to get involved. I think it’s also good for the kids to get involved and see that it’s hard work keeping the house clean and tidy!
Like JessicaJones does, I bought a small cheaper clothes rail and plastic hangers, my clothes dry on there and don’t need ironing! And my dishwasher is amazing, don’t know what I’d do without it.
be good to yourself, if you and your kids are clothed, fed and where you need to be each day, you’re doing a fab job.