Struggling to cope

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  • #30388 Report

    Abow2019
    Participant

    I’ve recently come out of a long term relationship and have two children aged 10 & 4.. I’m in a house that is shared ownership and have never been so overwhelmed financially and emotionally. All of my money goes into the property and bills etc. I’m massively overdrawn every month. I am on quite a low wage as work two jobs part-time school hours . I am waiting to hear about receiving further help from universal credit to help with rent .Just feel how did i end up like this. My two children can be extremely demanding and have very strong willed characters . sometimes I feel like the walls are caving in. I feel like a failure as a mum as a lot of the time  I am snappy and shout at the kids.  I worry they’ll end up hating me and want to live with their dad who never seems to put a foot wrong in their eyes especially the older one.  Even though he’s treated me like dirt seeing me and kids out from under his nose and only paying half of what he owes in maintenance. Long story. All too much. So much to do juggling everything. Can’t decide what to do first at home. Loads of  DIY to do on my own plus the usual housework etc .All i want to do most days is just sleep and drink alcohol. I know this is not helping me but just feel so low. Sorry for ranting . Just all getting a bit much

    #30395 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hi,

    I totally understand what you’re going though as can many of us here….you are not alone!

    Financial problems have such a devastating impact on all aspects of our lives so a good place to start is to give the gingerbread team a ring on their helpline, they are trained to give you the most up to date information and can further signpost you for help, here’s a link:

    Alcohol is double edged sword, on the one hand it can feel as though it releaves the stresses and strains allowing us to feel ‘normal, it is however an illusion, it makes things so much worse both in the short and long term, it swallows our money and often causes the extreme tiredness and irritability which we then blame on other things. I’m not judging you at all as in the past I’ve struggled with it as do many folk. It is something that needs sorting though as over indulging in alcohol is very detrimental on both you and those around you. There are loads of self help books and websites that can be of help before you take the step of officially seeking help but if you do need that help it’s nothing to be ashamed of and you’ll feel so much better for it.

    Mark

    #30396 Report

    Winnie7465
    Participant

    Hi there.  You shouldn’t apologise for having a rant.  We all need to do it from time to time, I know I do and have.  You’re going through a tough time at the moment and it’s good to reach out and seek any advice, support or help that may make things just a little more easier. I know what you mean about jobs around the house, so I try to prioritise and then focus on something thats going to give me the most satisfaction.  Do you have friends and family to go to for support?  I too have had moments where I can be snappy with the kids, It’s far from ideal but it happens and it just makes you human.  I hope today is going as well as can be. Always happy to chat.Take care of yourself.

    #30620 Report

    ChasingHappiness
    Participant

    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are struggling. I can 100% empathise. My ex husband earns three times my wage and financially I’m totally screwed. He can offer my daughter so much more than I can financially and it makes me feel totally inadequate, even though I know that I’m the better parent in terms of day to day care/fun for my daughter.

    People tell me it gets easier but like you, I feel so overwhelmed. Do you have friends and family nearby to support you?

    I hope things work out for you 👌🏻

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