Struggling each day, need help
18 February 2019 at 3:25 am #21184
Hi, since September last year my son is now living with me full time.
After his mother had enough of him and told me she could no longer deal with everything he does. The problem was she threw him out and assaulted him as well. He was 5 at the time.
Things for a while were ok. I mean like any 5 year old pushing random barriers. But December my son has totally changed. His behaviour is well.. not right.. he swears at me, has zero respect towards me, hits me, kicks me, argues constantly. I’ve got to the point now where I’m up at 3:01 am now writing this!! That’s how bad things are for me. I feel like a terrible person and father because before this I used to have my son every other weekend. We used to be so close. He used to be so loving towards me. I feel like I’ve lost my little boy.
I feel awful saying this but I don’t even like being around him anymore. All he does is horrible aggressive things to me. Recently in the last week Cafcass have organised him to see his mother again. After the first meet with her pretending to be all innocent and sweet. My son turned round to me and said he wants to live her again. After one meeting. His behaviour has continued to get worse. He even said in front of myself and his mum that I hit him!!
I couldnt believe it! When I asked him when? He said when we were playing last and I threw a teddy at him play fighting. Now I’m afraid todo anything as he’ll keep telling tales and she’ll use all this to get him back.
Ive tried my best and it’s been six very long months for me. I feel I’ve got no one. No support. I had to give up my job when I took on my son and I lost my car, job and girlfriend.
Ive had to change massively in my life to adjust. I don’t feel like the parent. I feel my son is this horrible monster who actually seems to enjoy upsetting me and hurting me. I obviously love him but I’m seriously struggling to cope. I’m so tired and fed up. I’m unable now to pick myself up. My son has had theorapy for what he’s been through with his mum that I arranged. And he’s told me before that she’s hurt him on separate I occasions also. I’ve reported this all to the police who are totally useless. Social services where a joke. All they said was that now he’s with me there satisfied he’s safe. And closed the case. The police after myself and son making a statement about his mother assaulting him didn’t take the matter further because it was bad enough. So his mother has got away with everything totally. Up until 1 month ago my son always told me he hated her! Because of what she’s done. Now she’s back on the scene and everyone’s forgotten what she did. Just like that.
I dont know why my son is hurting me? He’s 6 now. At school he’s well behaved. And when I drop him off and pick him up he’s always running up to me for a hug and is happy. It’s when we get back home his behaviour changes. And weekends/school half term are very bad for me. I try my best by him. But he’s been pushing me so much recently I feel myself ready to snap and I’m worried that I will. I feel so upset now everyday. I try to tell myself it’s another day. But it turns out to be awful soon after.
I’m desperate. Part of me wants him to go back to his mother. I know her nice behaviour won’t last and I’m sure within a few weeks to month she’ll be swearing at him and knocking him about. I don’t like my son18 February 2019 at 9:43 am #21187
Sorry you are going through this difficult time. I will be sending you a personal message with some sign posting options which will hopefully give you some further support options.