1 December 2018 at 7:31 pm #18354
Hi I’m a single mum to two boys, my youngest is autistic and I feel like I’m letting them down. Any single parent knows how hard it is split your time and get five minutes but I’m finding it hard to get through his meltdowns etc. Anyone going or gone through a similar experience? would be good to talk.2 December 2018 at 11:53 am #18367
I have three young kids and it is hard to get through the days and find time for yourself. I cant imagine how much harder it would be if there were other aspects to the kids health.
I hope you are ok and if you ever need to chat or vent feel free to message,
C x2 December 2018 at 10:39 pm #18383
Bless you, you must be so stressed.
Im kind of in a similar position. I have a child who attends a school with a lot of Autistic children. Iv always thought she might be on the scale due to certain things. Iv managed to get her assessment and so on bought forward to the spring. I get the meltdowns and sometimes have to get a friend who works with autistic children round in the middle of the night to help as she kicks me and hurts me
I really feel for you as it can be a very lonely place being single parent but with a child on the spectrum it adds another layer.
Firstly go the National Autistic Society website https://www.autism.org.uk/
They have an autism helpline and a parent to parent helpline where another parent who has a child older than yours and can identify with you will ring you and you can chat and ask questions. I found this very helpful.
They also have a forum
The other thing is too look up DR Tony Attwood on YouTube . https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dr+tony+attwood
Iv found this very helpful and its even given me ideas on how to communicate differently with my daughter. Such as not realising before that she cannot read facial expression as looking at eyes makes her feel funny..so Iv put a few little pointers in place to try and help her. The traffic light system is one.
Also look after yourself and take any offers from family or friends to help.
Make a point of creating a peaceful and harmonious home. Read books on autism from the library and on the internet there are loads
Also if you can get them outside whatever the weather..they wont sleep otherwise.
All children are different but you might come across something that works for you if you get googling
Also don’t be afraid of reaching out to social services and asking if there’s an organization near you or part of there team that can pop in and see you.
If you call SS there not going to come round and take the children away.
Iv done this and I get a visit twice a week which is great as they can help you with lots of other issues as well
Im really sorry your going through this as its very difficult. Its positive that you are asking for help.
Remember that a lot of children or anyone with autism gets over stimulated very easily. Too much talking or communication can be heard as white noise and the child cannot understand. So try limiting the amount of words you say (takes practice).
Have you made emotion cards: make some cards with an angry face, sad. tired, scared and so on. Some children cannot verbalise what they feel. Make the cards available and see if it helps for your son to pick one up and then you can say T0m (for example) you are feeling tired. he can then confirm and may pick this up over time.
Also remember autistic children are great receptors of your emotions. So you have to limit there time with anyone whos emotions are extreme in any way as it will effect t
Tou must look after yourself and scream from the rooftops until you get some help
Don’t forget to keep fit, have a pamper routine at least once a week..even if its only for ten minutes. Have you got an education plan in place, you should with a diagnoses and the autism website above can help with that.
Do you have fun with them, with paint or plasticine or squishing mud in there wellies outside. Try and make fun out of the smallest of things and this will grow.
Hope that helps a bit.
Im on a learning curve at the mo and the one thing I’m finding is that parents with children who are autistic feel isolated and they shouldn’t.
take care of yourself and stay strong xx
You can message if you like. x3 December 2018 at 12:28 pm #18398
Thank you both I really appreciate your messages and support.
I have got in touch with many organisations, I was told to get in touch with social services for support they have passed me on to other people telling me we do not meet the criteria I also suffer with anxiety and depression but that’s not taken in to account either.
I’m being passed on a lot at the moment that’s also a struggle.
The meltdowns seem to be getting worse who would have thought a 3 year is capable of conflicting pain to an adult.
I don’t get support from family really last time I had a night off was 5 months ago they don’t understand and think I’m going over the top when I say I’m struggling they just put it down to me being miserable.
I’m still learning so much with the autisim at the moment I’ll definitely try and put these things in place. Thank you again it’s much appreciated.