Stressful Split, 18 and 16 year old kids, 20years, ex awkward, feeling low

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    Mumof18n16yr
    Participant

    Split in October my choice as couldn’t go on I’ve known things not right for years.  Husband was either at work, or doing own thing, he was disjointed from me and children.

    He’sControlled all money, I work part-time from home and her earns 4 times mine.  He’s turned out teenage son against me, especially on money, cars, house etc.

    Teenager daughter 18 gaining independent and ex husband to be is managing to use her as taxi driver etc, stand in parent when I’m not with our kids .

    He doesn’t communicate with me on spending time with kids,. Keeps taking them to his girlfriend’s, out the area.

    It took him a week to sign up to a dating agency, several dates, weeks later n he’s with girlfriend 9 months.  Girlfriend has a young daughter n they do everything together.

    I’m struggling with my son 16, as he’s angry with me.  Hes struggling with adjustments and nearly everything I say causes an argument.

    Daughter 18,  easier as she has her own life, boyfriend, car, starting uni.

    But their dads idea now he has almost moved out but not quite is to set them life skills tasks eg cut grass n cook for selves.  Basically the cooking is what I normally do so I feel it’s his way if saying they don’t need you!  His job cutting grass is a job he would normally do but he’s hardly been here (,even through lockdown) so he’s just getting them to do parental jobs.

    Has anyone use relate or mind or other online body for support for their teenagers?  I’m worried about my two especially son and think some type of therapy would be better for them at this stage?

    Sorry maybe should have put some info into different posts, new to this.

    Can anyone recommend any other forums or website of use please on divorce and co patenting?

    I’m really struggling feeling so low.  I should be happy as going on holiday but having to sort house before go as ex husband having house valued while we are away.

     

    #43198 Report

    Sandra
    Moderator

    Hello

    My name is Sandra and I am one of the moderators. I can hear that you are going through a particularly tough time right now. I hope you get some support and some positive messages of encouragement from other posters on this forum.

    You are not alone in facing these challenges.

    I would suggest a call to our helpline might help you map out some of your options. You can call them on 0808 802 0925 and they can give some advice on divorce and co-parenting, and can also signpost you to other services.

    With regards to finding some support for your son, I would also suggest calling YoungMinds on 0808 802 5544 as they have access to specialist support around children and young people’s mental health and emotional wellbeing and will help you develop a strategy to cope with his anger.

    I hope things improve for you, and that you think about your own needs and wellbeing.

    Take care

    Sandra

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