Stopping me seeing my son

[Simonlloyd31]

Me and my ex split up 17 months ago since then we have been sharing custody and agreements have been made verbally and written down via  two. I’ve attended mediation twice 2nd time she didn’t turn up. She has repeatedly broke the agreements not for our son but for her benefit, she’s used this virus as reasons for him not to see me and it’s got so bad I’ve had to call the police for harassment and coming around my house banging on the door etc. I am going through the court now she said our son is staying with her until it’s gone through court after advice from her solicitor? Is this correct? Would she get told that? There are no reasons why he cannot to see me while this is going on! As the right of the child then is what she doing the right thing to do and how can I see him during this?

[Kathymumofone]

Unless your ex believes you pose a risk to your son, or you might not return him, she has no valid reason to obstruct access. During Covid she could argue against access if you have a high risk job, or if she or your son have an underlying condition – asthma etc.  Or perhaps if it involves a large amount of travel.

Remember her solicitor is working for her, not you, so they might tell her to refuse access until the court case because there is little you can do about it. It doesn’t make it right but the solicitor gets paid for getting her what she wants.

Practically, all you can do is stay calm, and polite, keep all messages, record all harassment, keep asking for FaceTime or similar, and go to court ASAP. Can you get the court date brought forward? What does your solicitor say?

[Aliyah]

It seems that or i think the agreements between you and her are not leaglly binding. Although it could be put in your case that she did not comply with them. Make a note of everything and stay patient your are going through a challenge. Focus on creating a room for him in your house and life adjustments for your little boy for now. Don’t get caught up in her drama as that may derail your long term goal. Good luck to you

[Bunnyhop]

Unless you have a court order then yes technically she can stop you seeing the child but a judge wont look kindly on that when it does come to court. Basically a judge is only interested in the best interest of the child and unless either of you can provide sufficient evidence that the other one poses some kind of physical or emotional risk to the child then a judge will almost always grant access to both parents. As previously said by others make sure all communication is either via solicitors letters or by messaging (whatsapp or text etc) so that there is a written record of everything exchanged between the two of you. Remain civil and polite at all times. And ensure everything you discuss is focused solely on the child and the interests of the child. Also make sure you pay your child support even if you are not getting access. Legally you have an obligation to pay whether you have access or not plus if you stop paying on the grounds of not getting access a judge would see that as you acting petty and depriving the child out of spite. Every week get in touch with her politely asking for temporary access to be arranged until the matter can be finalized in court, even if its just a video call with the child. If she refuses ask her why she has refused so you’ve got evidence of her reasons for refusing access. And keep things calm all the way through until a judge makes a ruling on the matter. But if you haven’t done so already try and get yourself a solicitor. Hope this helps and stat safe

[Simonlloyd31]

Thank u for the messages I appreciate them all

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