Stopped my ex seeing our son

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  • #33845 Report


    Have I done the right thing , I don’t trust my ex where he takes my son of 3 years and what he does with him , I found out through my son that he has been seeing an 19 year old girl he’s 45 and spending time with my son when I confronted my ex he point blank denyed it all , my view is if he can’t spend the few hours at a weekend spending quality time with his son on his own then sod it , I don’t know this girl from Adam I don’t know where he takes my son and I obviously can’t trust anything he says so for the last few months I’ve stopped all contact blocked him on everything , he turned up at mine the other day bearing in mind I have a court order on him until 2022 for him being violent towards while I was pregnant so he shouldn’t be near me , my son was talking to him through letterbox and got really excited and wanted me to open the door so without my son getting upset I let him see him for literally 5 mins and made out we were going out in the car , he now wants to see his son again pleading with me and I don’t know what to do ,I have never trusted the lad and obviously my son is my main priority I know he does love his daddy and vise versa but I can’t have the lies and not knowing where he takes him or who he spends them few hours with , am I wrong to stop the contact ??

    #33846 Report


    You sound very hurt and upset but you need to keep in mind that your little boy has a right to see his dad.

    I don’t know what the court order covers but your son wants to see his dad and will eventually resent you if you stop him.

    Try to keep your ex’s new girlfriend separate in your head from the relationship your son and his dad might have, within the bounds of what the court thinks is safe.

    I know it’s hard  x

    #33899 Report


    I forgot to add my ex is dealing drugs so that is another reason I worry about my son being around him , I moved on from my ex when he had me round the throat when I was pregnant I couldn’t care less who he sees that’s his choice but knowing they are both taking drugs is a big worry , I wish it was all that easy to let him see him

    #33956 Report

    Hi all

    I have removed posts from this thread as its important that the community remains a supportive environment.  Please continue to chat to other parents and make sure you continue to adhere to the guidelines.

    Kind regards, Justine

    #33958 Report


    Firstly I wanted to tell you my idea that your son had eight to see his father. But I changed my mind when you mentioned he is dealing with drugs. This situation is extremely worring and I think it’s better to talk with your son and convince him to see his father on short period like an hour on a public area.

    Even you can manage to be there and see what’s going on exactly.

    Hope you can find a best way.


    #33962 Report


    If your ex is dealing/using drugs then you’ve done the right thing in stopping him seeing your son. Your son may be safe with him but he may also be in danger. It might be worth taking advice from Citizens Advice on how best to protect your son.

    #33976 Report


    That would change everything for me. Having drugs in the house poses a risk to your child. And your child being in the sole care of someone on drugs is an even greater risk. Under those circumstances I’d block access too. I don’t let my son go to his dad’s on New Year’s Eve because I know they’ll be legless, so agree with you.

    Can you arrange for your ex to see his son on a Sunday morning at MacDonald’s? Or at his mum’s if she is more responsible?

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