Stop/Control/Restrict Access

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  • #18719 Report


    I need some help/advice I was in an abusive relationship and have two children with my ex. Visitation was arranged mutually and he requested an overnight stay on alternate weeks. This has been in place for 4 years. Unfortunately he has always been unreliable, frequently let’s the children down and his behaviour has become more and more erratic. The children have sadly been exposed to aggression and violence (although never towards them). I have become increasingly concerned that their safety is at risk when he has them and I have now following a series of incidents decided that I can no longer allow him access as I feel it’s not a safe environment for my children. I just don’t know what to do now? I know I need to formalise this in some way and also let him know but I have absolutely no idea what to do. My son (aged 9) is really struggling emotionally now and the school are involved with his emotional issues and we are waiting on a referral from the GP. I have tried everything possibly to prevent this step but I can’t in good conscience allow this to continue as my children are now suffering. Thank you for any help/advice

    #18731 Report


    They tend to all start with drinking, there have been fights with strangers, stealing from shops. The worst one was a huge physical fight between my ex and his new partner, which was started by the new partner and directed at my son, this then ended in the home being smashed up and my children standing on outside alone whilst the adults continued to fight. (this has been reported to school/counsellor/social services to no avail) The latest at the weekend was again alcohol fuelled, dad kept disturbing the children until the early hours of the morning and there was a argument between ex and np, thankfully the children were not exposed to the fighting but my son was informed that his dad had tried to strangle his new partner. I received messages in the early hours telling me that I would need to collect the children as he was leaving them. I don’t have proof but I pretty certain that he drove my children home whilst still under the influence in a two seater van where both children had to share a seat and seatbelt.

    #18740 Report

    Hi Nikc80

    I’m Justine, one of the moderators.  Thank you for sharing this with the forum.  This sounds like a worrying situation.  I am going to email you privately in order to offer some sources of help.

    Thanks Justine


Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

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