Still really struggling 2 years on ☹️

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  • #50390 Report

    Leanne86
    Participant

    Hi,

    My Husband left me just over 2 years ago after 13 years together. We have 2 children together aged 5 and 12 now.
    Him leaving me came as a complete shock, he said he was no longer happy or in love with me. It completely turned my life upside down & broke my heart. Neither of us have been in another relationship since, I think he just liked the idea of living his own life as he pleased. The last 2 years have been an emotional rollercoaster and it hasn’t helped that he has never really been sure he’s doing the right thing and has continually messed with my head, keeping me dangling on a string giving me false hope. I know he doesn’t want to be be with me though, he just misses the family element, but not actually me.  I feel like I should be in a much better place by now, but sadly I’m really not and I still struggle every single day and still feel so heartbroken. I can’t seem to accept it’s over, I can’t seem to let go. I have tried so many things, I have dated, I have had therapy sessions, I have tried limited contact with him, I just feel like nothing works ☹️ The main thing I struggle with more than anything is not being a family anymore. Whenever the children are with their Dad I can’t explain how sad and lonely I feel. I don’t have any friends in a similar position, so I just want to know if all of this I am feeling is normal especially 2 years on and if it really does get easier?! Thanks

    #50407 Report

    Hunky_Dory
    Participant

    Hey Leanne86, I’m sooo with you… a year ago my kids’ dad left me for another woman, it didn’t work out. Now that woman has a husband and seems to be working on her relationship with her her husband, but my ex still doesn’t want to come back but he’s keeping me dangling as well… although I told him if someone worth attention comes in to my life, he won’t have chance and will regret because I won’t take him back. He understands the risk but until this is happening, he probably doesn’t. I don’t know. It’s hard to lose a family unit. Very hard. And I’m still struggling. I think it will take more than 1 or 2 or 3 years until we finally move on. And even then our exes will be a part of our lives because of our children. On the other hand now my life is a bit easier comparing to the first 6 months. At least I don’t cry every night holding the sound of it to my pillow. I literally was crying every day and night for the first 4 months because I always wanted to have an original family with everyone happy in it. It’s best if we let go of that vision maybe and reframe it to another one? With a partner/man/husband that loves us for who we are despite that he is not the father of our kids? Then eventually that another person will love our kids and despite that it’s what we wanted… I don’t know, now it sound that I live in a dream and not reality lol….

    #50422 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    Sure what you write is very common and ‘normal’ if anything on here could be termed ‘normal’.

    I suppose for a lot of us, we could say the old ‘crazy’ is our new ‘normal’! Whatever.It takes a long time to get your head round it all if you weren’t planning on having your heart broken in the first place.It’s a trauma and does your head in.It can be terrifying at times,so obviously it can take a lot of processing. Healing can drag on for years bc its not like a death where there’s a clean break and eventually you Have to deal with the inevitable- instead you have this kind of….. haunting, where the person who walked out of your life keeps popping up and there is no Real closure for you.

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