Sserious case of Sunday night blues

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  • #36543 Report

    Howisthismylife
    Participant

    Maybe it is the fact that the weather has been so awful today & we have been inside all day but I am really struggling with the thought of work tomorrow.

    There is no real point to this post other than maybe if I write it down, my head will be a little less full & I may be able to sleep. (Fingers crossed)

    I am fully aware that I am in a fortunate position where I earn enough to keep myself & my children & we are not struggling financially.  The problem is that in getting to this point, I have worked so hard that I feel burnt out & don’t feel that I have anything more to give in my job.  There are a number of stress factors at work & I just cannot see any way through them. In fact I am really struggling to see many positives at all, other than the fact that my working hours are flexible.

    I would dearly love to quit & have a complete change of career, something that would actually make me feel worthwhile as a person.  Unfortunately, at my age, as a single parent with a hefty mortgage & very low self esteem, it does not seem at all possible.

    I know that I need to find a way to get over this huge negative slump but I can’t seem to fight my way out.  I know that it is affecting my mental & physical health.  I recently had a birthday & just feel like a huge failure in all aspects if my life.  I am sure that the way that I am feeling is having a negative impact on my children too.

    Apologies for moaning, especially when I realise that many of you may not even be working or are struggling financially.  In many ways that just makes me feel worse.

    Any tips on how to overcome this & find some positive ways forward would be gratefully received.

    #36544 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    If you have managed to come out of a separation or bereavement regardless of how you wound up as a single parent, and managed to establish a home and provide for yiur kids then I think yiu can safely say yiu are far from a failure as it’s more than many manage to do.

    Was it a big birthday?  I just had mine and felt the same though it kind of gave me the push to “get my sh*t together’ so to speak in many ways but I do emathise with your liw.  Maybe its a case of feeling should have achieved more by now or got it all sorted.  Truth is there is no template, or master plan…we figure things outin our own time and our own way and some (like yours truly) may take frustratingly longer than others.  Believe me when I say you are not alone in feeling like that.

    It’s good you acknowlege the fact you feel that way…and the first step towards feeling better too.  I’m sure you know the regular signposts if things get too tough…they are available on this site, but you are probably doing a lot better than you think you are and step one is cutting yourself some slack, stop comparing with others and just focus on small achievable goals and milestones.  Eventually yiu will figure out what’s important to you and what you want to achieve.  It takes time and I’m nowhere near there yet but I have ckear goals and ideas how to achieve them and when you get to thst point you do feel a while lot better.  It’s when you are struggling through  without direction that things are worst and it’s a difficult thing being in that infinite loop, feeling like groundhog day…just need to get momentum to move forwards.

     

     

    #36549 Report

    EmJay
    Participant

    Who says you can’t change anything? You have to really want it and be prepared to take a financial hit to retrain but it’s not impossible it’s just logistically difficult. Try and address stress points at work. If you can change a bad system do. Get a career mentor (linked in/ shapr or someone you know in the workplace) to help you create clear goals and work toward them. Work on your growth mindset – frustration is a creative emotion to push us to action not just to accept and settle. Look around maybe a job that better suits is waiting. If you take on a full time job you love and it’s not flexible will that help you? Can you find suitable child care? Allow yourself to mind map it out against your values and priorities. I did that and found being out of work between jobs was actually best for my mental health and enabled me to consider a new career path. I’ve decided to relocate to where my family are. We are here for my ex’s job no longer a good reason to stay.

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