My son is 5, me and his dad split 2 years ago after a 4 year relationship. I didn’t know I was pregnant till I was 9 weeks, i was bleeding in a lot of pain, went to hospital was told I was pregnant, had a scan found out it was twins but sadly one had passed. He showed no emotion at all, I felt so alone from the get go. All throughout my pregnancy, he did nothing, I went into labour on my own, had my son at home and he missed it by 5 minutes. After that he felt like it was my responsibility not his. I have done everything for my son from the moment he was born literally, not one feed, bath, playtime, etc was done by him. He cheated when my son was 6 months old, he left for 3 months, didn’t see or even ask about his son, I regretably took him back. When we finally split up 2 years ago, he has been in and out of my son’s life when he feels like it. Each week i have to text him to ask when he is seeing him or for him to ring. When my son started school, he was no where to be seen, birthdays and Christmases he will appear with armfuls of gifts. From August last year till now he has saw my son 4 times, once on Christmas and once in January. Im at my wits end, I want to tell him to jog on and cut contact but I don’t want to for my son’s sake, I’m sick and tired of stressing and forcing him to be a parent.
I think you should just leave the door open for him, remind him the doors open, that he can see his child, prompt him to but I think if it’s gets to the point where he isn’t taking it up… maybe send a text saying your not willing to keep reminding him but the doors open and then don’t so the promoting anymore. It’s not your fault and your doing right by your child, no more you can do! Xx
I agree with the pink princess , pretty much what I’ve done, I’ve got 2 daughters 7 and 9 . I’ve been bringing them up on my own for the past 6 years. I let the mum visit pretty much whenever she wants, I’ve always made it as easy as possible for her. It’s been just over 2 years since her last visit. Before that she was unpredictable and inconsistent, I don’t think she has ever turned up on time, and rarely did turn up when she had arranged to. Kids need stability in their lives , I give them that, or at least try my best, they can make their own minds up about their mum. They know what to expect from her now, they don’t feel let down if she doesn’t turn up, we actually turned it into a game having a bet on if she would turn up or not.