Son's dad constantly letting him down

[Mel1991Participant]

My 2 yr old son’s father and I have been separated for a fair few months now. In that time, he’s been picking him up and dropping him when ever he feels like it. He sees him for a few days over the week then just disappears with no explanation, goes on drug binges, doesn’t see him for weeks then turns up apologising, saying he’s sorted himself out and asking for another chance. I have never ever stopped him from seeing our son, nor made it difficult in any way. Our son has a right to have a relationship with his dad, however I hate how he is treating him, it’s just not fair. Just need some advice as I’m really not sure what to do. He has just got in touch with me again after a month or more.

[Ali.saaParticipant]

Hey there,

Hope you are doing well and I read your post.

Regular visiting is crucial for your son. It effects badly on your son.

I had the same situation and my son was confused about it. But we decided to solve this critical issue. My ex was really punctual so I didn’t have any problems with her.

I suggest to talk with your ex for picking and dropping your son on a regular and proper time.

Otherwise it is better to talk with solicitor to solve this issue.

All the best

 

[LulublueParticipant]

I had a similar situation and in the end I said he’d need to go to mediation to arrange contact. I contacted charities at the time for advice to make sure I was right in what I had said to him. I was.
9 months on he still has made no effort to contact mediation, although I have had a few messages regarding contact which I have said no to, you need to contact mediation, as it would just go back to him letting our child down. Hence the reason he won’t contact mediation, because he’d have to have set days and that wouldn’t fit in with his lifestyle…. to much hassle for him.
I could see him not turning up was already affecting our child And all I could see in the future, was a broken little girl sat on the doorstep waiting for her dad to turn up.
Im not going to lie! It’s hard putting the ball in there court and not getting called to mediation. Because I know if it was me I’d have been on the phone the day I was told to contact mediation. It’s hard trying to get your head around why they don’t care enough…. but you can’t force someone to be a parent.

[Ymoreno74Participant]

Thank you for sharing that.

I’m in exactly the same situation and also asked him to contact mediation over a year ago but he hasn’t done it as he’s too busy being a “pastor” and a lecturer in University while sleeping with his student 🤦🏽‍♀️

So now he just appears by surprise (like Santa) ones a year with presents to mess up with the kids minds.

He appeared in my baby seaters door one evening before Xmas (after 8 months) while I was at work and they all run to the door and opened thinking it was me.. When I got back from work the kids were all confused and crying 😭

Are these “parents” aware of the damaged they are causing to their kids by disappearing from their life’s and turning up again when they feel like?

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