Son’s Dad consistently refusing to bring back belongings

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  • #50744 Report


    Hi, just as the title suggests, I’m having an ongoing issue with my sons dad not bringing back my sons clothing/belongings. This week it’s his winter coat, I haven’t been able to go and get it as he says they’re always out and he’s refusing to drop it back off. It’s getting really expensive having to double up on coats and shoes as it’ll be months before they make it home. Has anyone got any suggestions on what I can do? I’m banging my head against a wall here! I should mention that my son gets blamed for forgetting everything (he is 7, so while he is very good normally at getting things together, he does need a reminder to double check before he leaves-i don’t think that’s unreasonable for his age) and I get told that it’s my fault for not having spares at my house before getting verbally abused and hung up on, so a rational conversation is out of the window. It is very frustrating. I should also mention that we’ve been separated for 6 years and this has been ongoing since then, so I’m not holding out much hope of any change! I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar position and how they deal with it?

    #50747 Report



    that sounds like a very annoying situation. my ex doesn’t give any spare clothes or anything when kids come to stay, which is fine. If I lost or refused to return a jacket, she would expect me to buy another one and give to her, and would probably refuse to let the kids come stay over until its resolved!

    #50751 Report


    Unfortunately, that would mean he just wouldn’t see him until I backed down which wouldn’t be ideal! I did stop packing spare clothes as I was having to chase constantly to get them back, it just ends up being shoes and coats now annoyingly!

    #50761 Report


    Send your son to his dads without a coat as theres already one there. It is common in most cases that clothes end up in different households. Often mine leave with different coats and clothes and i go weeks /months without seeing them. I dont mind too much as long as kids are clothed etc and warm.

    Sometimes i will ask for the odd item to be returned , but it is awkward it not happening.

    #50762 Report


    Oh I totally understand what would normally happen, but if he gets picked up from school, he’s going to have his coat with him which then also won’t come back. I stopped sending clothes as his dad refused to buy any for his house and stocked up using my clothes so effectively I ended up buying for two houses. Which, again, wouldn’t be a problem if he was struggling for cash, but with 2 full time good earners in his house and one part timer (me!) in my house, I feel a tiny bit aggrieved about. It’s just very frustrating, there isn’t an easy answer I guess apart from to suck it up and get on with it 😣

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