My son’s never seen much of his dad or had a bond, for the last year he has stayed 2 nights a month with his dad and his new family. My son says he’s bored and that his dad is ‘mean’ to him and hurts him (doesn’t hit he says) so he’s worried and doesnt want to stay anymore. His dad was abusive to me so I am worried to confront him about this as I don’t know the whole story obviously. How do I deal with this situation? A 5 year old ‘mean’ may be nothing but my boy is worried about it and I don’t know how to deal with it.
If your son is telling you without being prompted, that his dad is mean to him, and that he is worried about visiting, then you need to support him.
You need to raise it calmly with your ex and suggest going back to day visits for a while. Your ex may agree if the weekends haven’t been harmonious. If your son still isn’t happy, you need to stand your ground.
I agree with what Kathy has said, you do need to support your son as difficult as that may be. I always found it best to email my ex when there were issues when my son was younger. When my own son was a similar age he told me his dads place was ‘rusty’ (which meant a dump) and he didn’t like been there so I had to do something about it for my son’s sake but I did it via email xx