Hello, I’m not sure if this will help at all but I am similar but with no court order.
My boy who’s now 7 had total meltdowns at the thought of seeing his dad from the age of 6. Before that he had mixed feelings about seeing him from about 5, so it had been building for a while.
I spoke to his dad and tried to explain what was happening my side and the state our son was getting into, obviously he didn’t understand and it was all my fault of course, but I decided it wasn’t good for my son to be emotional drained and cry himself to sleep like he was so I stopped visits for a short period. (3 weeks) A trail period to cool off.
Again, I am lucky that his dad really isn’t the parenting type so he didn’t fight against it but it has worked a bit. My boy now has had time off from him and to think and is now saying he doesn’t mind his dad coming over again soon. Although I know it’s a vicious circle and it will all happen again anyway.
We haven’t needed a court order so I don’t know that side or how understanding your ex is to work with you.. Maybe until after lock down? Then introduce slowly again with a few bribes on your side.
I felt pulled two ways.. Is my boy old enough to make his own decisions or will he regret it? Is it fair on his dad even though he was the cause of the meltdowns?
I just keep thinking that when my boy looks back when he’s older I want him to feel I did all I could to do things right and keep his dad in his life for as long as possible.
Although I’m not exactly the same as you, I know what it’s like to be stuck in the middle xx
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