I am just looking for some advice, as I am really worrying about how my son behaves when he returns to his mums house after staying with me.
He is turning 3 shortly, and is an amazing well behaved wee boy. I see him once a week, one week overnight and the other week through the day. I would love to see him more often but hopefully that will come soon.
However the issue is, when he returns to his mum he will not speak about what he done with me. His mum will try and encourage it by showing him videos i have sent her of him playing/dancing/having fun at whilst at my house however he gets hysterical and cries for her to turn it off and he will not say anything to her, her parents or her friends when they ask what he done with his Dad. He is often grumpy/tantrumy when returning home which is not like him at all, I understand he might be tired but it is just so different to how he normally behaves.
I am really struggling to understand it as me and his mum get on fine, he is extremely happy at both houses and he will speak to me about his mum without any hesitation.
When I come to pick him up, he often doesn’t want to come as he wants to stay and play with the toy he is playing with, or he wants to stay with his little sister at his mums house however once he comes, we have great fun. He is also the same when I say its time to go back to his mums house, he says he doesn’t want to go however I just always put this down to not wanting to leave his toys that he is playing with at that moment because in his mind what he is doing in the here and now will be his whole little world.
We have tried to encourage it by getting him a little book in which we will sit and write out what we done whilst at my house, and he will draw in it and when he goes home he was meant to show his mum the book and speak to her about it however he has never wanted to show her it, and when she tries to read it/fill it in with him he cries, runs away and asks her to put it away.
Any advice wold help as I am finding it quite upsetting, as is his mum and we can’t even identify the cause of the issue, never mind resolve it at the moment.
I find some people funny.With all due respect you sound like a really great dad,you really do.And you obviously care a lot which is nice to read bc a lot of people don’t care so much but….while it seems like everybody doing this-bc sadly so many zillions of ppl Are-the whole situation is so unsettling for kids! Liiiike,Where does your kid belong(just thinking from His perspective for a mo),lovely how we all say “oh,he has Two homes now,such a lucky boy” bla bla but it ain’t true! You sound like you’re making the best of things and I commend you for That,but it’s dreadfully unsettling for a kid that age,constantly going from 1 place to another .That might be all it is.My heart goes out to these kids.Its very confusing for them.
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