I feel like the punchbag and dustbin for everything. Trying to work f-t in a highly-challenging contract job, sell the house, keep the kids going emotionally, mentally and phsically whilst the person who shattered all our worlds (an affair) just skips around doing what he wants. Tonight (after rushing back 40 miles from a work visit to take 10yr old to a sport coaching session – thankfully 16yr old had fed him) I discover that 16yr old’s father is NOT taking her to her sixth form college induction day. He is working overtime, apparently. This date was known over two months ago. So now the night before, 16 yr old is saying she might not go (because it will be the bus) – she’s nervous. I am having to say you must but can do nothing at this late stage to get her there (another 40 mile work trip – that is my job). Dad is saying he has talked to her and she is OK. Well she’s not and just doesn’t want to get into a confrontation. I have emailed him to express my displeasure and told him he can pay for a taxi (Its 8 miles). No answer. I don’t want to make a big thing with daughter – she’s nervous enough. But it’s me sitting here seething instead of relaxing after a long day. This is not uncommon. I feel like as well as doing everything, earning virtually all the income to pay for everything, taking all the pressure from looking after three children (19yr old is at uni) and organising everything – I also have to suck up all this rubbish too. People look on from the sidelines and bleat ‘alienation’ but how the hell do you balance your child’s relationship with the other parent with the need to maintain your own health and wellbeing? Especially with older children – who are or are nearly adults? I am so tired of coming bottom of the pile.
I am in the same situation and completely get your frustration and anger. I wish I could give helpful advice but I’m 3 years on and some days are unbearable. Do you take time out to do anything for yourself?
If I find the miracle solution I’ll let you know. From one stressed mum to another well done for doing what you are doing!!