someone to talk to

[anonymommy]

I am new to this.

I’m a 24 yr old single mum to one little baby. I’m struggling to come to terms with this life situation post leaving a very abusive relationship. I feel lost and alone, and people don’t seem to truly how hard it is.

Does it get easier? Are there some tips and tricks to make things easier, and feel less guilty.

I adore my daughter, but I don’t enjoy slogging my guts every day on little to no sleep, by the end of the day rolls around, once I work all day, come home cook, clean, play with, bathe and put baby to bed, I don’t even have a single iota of energy to have a shower or eat or drink. I just pass out from exhaustion and start again 6am the next morning. Does this resonate with anyone?

 

[Empty]

Oh boy, that resonates with me. I looked after a child and baby twins all under 5 for the best part of a year on my own. I never ate, or slept properly. I rarely showered. And then she took them away and I haven’t seen or spoken to them since. Yes, I know what that is all about. I miss them all the time, in my heart and in my sleep (sleep is about two hours a night).  I eat like a feral animal not like it’s a joy. I keep wondering about if I will ever see them again. I cry til I am empty. I clean the house like I have OCD in case they suddenly walk through the door. I wash and fold clothes they’ll probably never wear again. I kiss their photos. I wonder why, why, why. I spend my free time reading and writing court papers. How did this happen?

Enjoy having at least contact because it could be worse. My life is bereavement and always will be. Your daughter will grow and you’ll be privileged to witness it.

[anonymommy]

Aww sorry to hear that, how come you lost them?

[Mellymel]

Hi Anonymommy!

I resonate!! It is the toughest job there is. I just wanted to say you are doing so well looking after your little one. And it is soooooo difficult at the beginning too. I remember people would say to me ‘ it gets easier’..and it didn’t.. Well, not right then.. But, then, later than I wanted (!!) it did. I told myself just that there were lessons I needed to learn about myself, my limits, my tolerances, patience. All those struggles will help you to become strong and your heart will grow fuller.

Ask for help if you need to. Are there any crèches of leisure centres you can go to get some ‘ me’ time?

Hugs to you, and do remember you are not alone and you are doing the most important job in the world, imho, and we all need praise for it xx

[Author]

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