Some Advice RE my children
21 December 2017 at 10:00 pm #6378
Right, bit of a complicated situation, so I will try and explain in as short a way as possible. I was just wondering on peoples advice on the matter.
I live with mine and my ex’s kids, as well as her older kids (my step kids). My kids are young, the step kids, late teens.
Now I caught out one of the step kids, who is already under therapy for self harm, doing some drugs, and even getting them sent to the house. I kicked him out of the house up to his fathers after discussing with him. All agreed that it was in the best interest for the little ones for him to be away.
After seeing all the things he was doing, and the videos he posted on Facebook, I called his mother and father round to discuss what needed to be done. We ended up in A&E, and after several hours the ex agreed to take him for the night (from what I thought – suicide watch). I know his father was not too impressed.
The day after I let the ex know that I do not want the young kids to stay the night at hers due to the possible consequences (My father lost his little brother to an overdose in the 70’s – so close to his heart). Which again was agreed upon.
Since, he has been to emergency meetings, and is seeing someone about the drugs – not sure what support this is as the father and mother are dealing with that side.
Now a week on – he has been staying up at the ex’s. She asked today if he could stay xmas eve here – I politely pointed out that he is no longer welcome here.
But she also said that he will be there overnight.
Am I over reacting to the concern for the safety and well being of my children? After seeing the picture of him cutting himself – and I will not even go into the video’s of him on drugs doing the same, or the messages about suicide attempts 🙁
I sent him to his fathers for a reason – as it would not involve the kids. I have only just got the ex out of the house after she decided to run off with someone else. And arranged access for her 50% of the time. I wanted the break to be as smooth as possible, as to not affect our children – even gave her the house we have a mortgage on.
Now my thought are to go back to her and say – ‘No – I sent him to his fathers for a reason. The safety and security of our children. It is your choice to take him in’. But I would rather not go down a route of seemingly been awkward to the ex.
Would that be the wrong thing to do? I feel the safety and security of the younger ones is paramount in this situation, especially when the older child has another house (his fathers) that he could be at. But she said it is not fair on the younger kids (I have said, and they can be round for the evening, but must me back for bed).
I just cannot think of the damage that could occur to the kids if something would happen with him, either a bad trip, or him actually ending it, and the kids seeing it! But then again – it has been alerted to the correct people, and he has been refereed I take it to the correct people for this.
Any advice would be appreciated. I am lost what to say or do in this situation.