Some Advice and Experience needed

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  • #49778 Report


    Here it goes……

    so basically me and my ex wife were together for nearly 10 years, Everything was great at the start, we went on regular holidays, we bought a house together and then decided to get married and while we were planning the wedding she got pregnant which was wonderful news and we were both over the moon. Then after the baby arrived things slowly changed, I started sleeping in another room because she was breast feeding and i was working long hours all the time to provide for us all. Then she turned around after my daughter was 2 and said she wanted to go to university. We had a discussion about it because i didn’t want things to change and she promised it was for us to grow better as a family, but after 6 months of uni she completely changed, she became distant from me and made me really paranoid and said that i was going mentally insane. In the end she flipped on me when i came home from work and i ignored her went to work expecting her to resolve things, Instead she kicked me out and said she wanted a divorce. I contacted a solicitor and the ball got rolling, she divorced me within 2 months and i had to move back in with my dad. We haven’t spoken about it at all, she hasn’t reached out to me and i just cant seem to get over how someone can just switch off 10 years of a relationship. I still feel like its day 1 of the divorce and its been 8 months, I have even quit my job because i weren’t happy and i felt like it wasn’t right for me. I don’t think i will ever be able to love someone again the way i loved her and i cant seem to pick myself up. She seems as if nothing has affected her and that she just gets on with it so i keep asking myself why cant i.


    Any Advice would be appreciated


    Thank You.

    #49796 Report


    You know what? 8 months might seem like a long time to you but there’s a a lot of people who would tell you that’s nothing! You have lost your wife,your home and the ability to see your child whenever you want.It’s a loss as big as a death btw.It’s not like you got a choice in the matter,or time to grieve,so how do you expect it to be business as usual? Ideally you need time to recover ,not sure if that happens much to any of us-only a lucky few I susopect-but at least think of yourself as a stranger and the compassion you would feel for them if you heard they were suffering this way.That helped me get things into perspective.Then start being kind to…you.Because it you dont…who will? Make sure to do something that makes you happy every now & then!!

    #49801 Report


    8 months is nothing. Been almost 3 years for me. Am sorry for what you’ve lost, like the poster above said it’s like a bereavement x

    #49804 Report


    if they leave and act like you never existed, it suggests they may have a personality disorder, or narcissistic traits. it boggles the mind. I found a lot of stuff on youtube helped me come to terms with it. dealing with your own emotions and why they behave the way they do.

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