Solo parenting Teenage twin boys

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  • #43163 Report

    Mumoftwins75
    Participant

    Divorced 6 years so I’m not new to being a single parent.

    I think parenting my teenage boys during lockdown has been really hard.  They’ve been off school for nearly 6 months.  I’ve had to constantly ask them to do their homework, get out of bed or to do a couple of very simple chores before I get home from my full time job.

    i have worked all through The pandemic as I work for the NHS, and was gutted when our much needed holiday was cancelled due to Covid.
    I decided I would take the boys to visit a friend who had moved to derby and then onto Alton towers for a few days and had a few friends tagging along.  We get to the hotel and the room was lovely and big, huge double bed and a double sofa bed.  Not so great that they then start arguing that they won’t share a bed etc not a problem I bought a blow up bed with me!  Only they continued to argue to the point I said I’d sleep on the blow up bed.  Ffs I pay for the hotel!!  Anyway I got so fed up I left them in the hotel and went shopping with one of my friends, when I came back they apologised and I was told I could have the double bed!  We had a great time at Alton towers the first day, and were due to go back the second day.  On the way to the car in the morning they start arguing to the point I’ve got involved and one decided he wants to go back to the hotel and one just sulks and tells me he didn’t do anything.  I refuse to go I’m so upset, all they do is argue and in front of my friends too.  I look like an idiot!  I got a load of abusive text messages from one son that refused to come to get the car.  I had a massive go at them and told them to sort it out to we would just drive home that morning.  Anyway we got to Alton towers eventually at 1pm in the afternoon and I left them to go around without me.  My friend decided she’d had enough and drove home.  My boys then wonder why she’s gone home and I’m upset!  I’m so fed up.  I feel like running away!  They are So ungrateful for what I do for them.  It’s not the break I’d choose for me but I did it so they’d have a good time.
    since getting home I have done 3 loads of washing, emptied the case, dishwasher, weeding, tidying the house etc and not one offer to help.  They were straight up to their rooms on their computers.  I just want to run away I’m so fed up of being made to feel worthless and like their slave.  If I could run away I would….

    #43167 Report

    sirtobi
    Participant

    You are not alone in this. Sometimes I wondered if I would even survive the next few minutes or my heart would just stop. Our’s are 7 years apart but I could not leave them anywhere for three minutes without fear they would kill each other. Had difficulty as well with friends as they feared for their own children and didn’t like the language as well. got the eldest one into athletics and weightlifting, youngest one into chess , Pokémon and running. That helped a bit. Constant reminder of the things they were suppose to do and how I felt ,telling them about how they made me feel worthless, without shouting, helped as well. Eldest one is 17 now and has a girlfriend. I am living in another world on another planet. He does the cooking, washing up, laundry, when she is here ;-).. youngest one behaves himself up to a point but he still stretches us. Homeschooling went much better than anticipated but I still remember my tearful Nights not long ago. But it will pass.

    #43168 Report

    BekzinPeckz
    Participant

    Hi,

    I know how you feel. I too worked the whole of lockdown and in the end was repayed for my good work by being suspended from my job since my manager is such a cow and makes me to try to look incapable.

    I have two teen boys and my family all deserted me and went to move near the coast so now I’m stuck on my own in the city with my two kids that don’t seem to care about anyone but themselves. It’s so hard sitting bored in my house all the time with them constantly here and barely talking to me. At least I have a few animals that I can cuddle. We all play games (xbox and ps4) but I love being sociable too and would love to spend time with them watching a movie or playing monopoly but they seem to only want to talk to their friends on the phone etc and play games all day.

    I don’t have any friends in my area anymore as they moved on and are busy with their own families. I had a boyfriend but my family expressed that they thought he was no good for me so I ended up breaking up with him and going through a period of deep depression. My boys seemed to care a bit more when I was unwell but now I’m on medication and getting better so they are back to their normal quiet selves and only come out their rooms when they are hungry. Their birthdays are coming up soon and the most I could get them to agree to was going out for food in a restaurant using the eat out to help out scheme.

    I honestly feel like booking myself a solo trip somewhere for a few nights to get away from everyone. It’s not like anyone would even really notice I’d gone! lol

     

    #43172 Report

    Mumoftwins75
    Participant

    Thanks for your replies.  Nice to know there is hope they will appreciate me at some point in their lives.

    i also am not able to see my family as they are all isolating and don’t live local to me.  I do have good friends but feel embarrassed I feel like this about my own children.   I would love some R&R but can’t see that happening until they are old enough to leave home!

    their dad is rubbish at helping and “has new priorities” with his new family!

    thank you for your support xx

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