14 December 2017 at 10:45 pm #6137
Has anyone been successful in being granted sole custody (with no further involvement or contact with the other parent)? This is obviously relevant to cases in which the other parent is a risk to the child (violence, drug/alcohol use etc). In my case, my daughter is very young so is not aware of the situation and would genuinely have a better life without her father in it! Any advice is appreciated!30 January 2018 at 7:40 am #7240
I’m in a similar situation. My daughter is coming up 3 months old. And she’s better off never knowing her real dad.30 January 2018 at 10:12 am #7248
Following. I’m exactly the same with my 3 month old.30 January 2018 at 11:18 am #7251
mental health issues30 January 2018 at 1:24 pm #7255
When u say mental health issues jasmin3 do u mean depression?30 January 2018 at 7:13 pm #7261
would you consider contact center as its monitored?30 January 2018 at 9:26 pm #7266
Anonymous do you have direct experience of this?
My daughters dad has bipolar and is emotionally abusive.31 January 2018 at 10:07 pm #7300
Domestic violence and drug/alcohol use1 February 2018 at 7:47 pm #7316
Thanks Anonymous, I will send you a PM2 February 2018 at 9:06 pm #7340
Khaleesi Mother Of DragonsParticipant
Hi, you should know that where DA/DV is alleged you should avoid mediation at all costs – MIAM is NOT necessary where abuse is alleged.
Historically there has always been a presumption of “contact no matter what” (i.e. Fred West would probably get some sort of access), however, the rules have recently changed. Have a look at PD12J. Professionals are now supposed to remove the presumption of contact no matter what and start from a clean slate.
However, the social workers, CAFCASS, judges and professionals have been working on the presumption of contact for so long that it is going to be really hard to get them to change and they must be challenged where it does not look like they are taking any notice of it.
Be prepared to go to court and be prepared for your ex to get contact.
If it doesn’t turn out that way then great, maybe he won’t be bothered to go down that route.2 February 2018 at 11:16 pm #7342
The problem is with DV/DA, is that the courts here all sorts of accusations. There are many women claim it when in fact it is totally rubbish. I have come across one poor sole that was accused of sexual abuse of his very young daughter but it was totally made up by mother so she gets the house, daughter and gets rid of the father out of her life permanently. He was a decent man.
It is, of course, used to try to get free legal representation. The people who do suffer are the ones that get falsely accused and the parents who have genuinely suffered it. Someone stated on a thread recently that you hear all sorts of stories of fathers getting access and then killing the child. This is skewing the reality. Kids are safer while in the same household to their biological father.
If the father wants contact then there should be very good reason to decline such a position. A genuine risk to the child. As I got told by an agency while in a child residency battle, I chose to have a child with the person so I can’t then be totally blameless of the situation that transpired when son was very young. I took their point. It was not a DV situation as such but something as easily as bad.3 February 2018 at 10:23 am #7347
Yes here is a helpful article on this: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jan/20/uk-judges-change-court-rules-on-child-contact-for-violent-fathers-domestic-abuse
castle dad, I understand what you’re saying and I realise there are false accusations but for someone who has actually suffered DV, the idea of shared custody or unsupervised contact is absolutely terrifying.