Sole custody?

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  • #6137 Report

    Faith
    Participant

    Has anyone been successful in being granted sole custody (with no further involvement or contact with the other parent)? This is obviously relevant to cases in which the other parent is a risk to the child (violence, drug/alcohol use etc). In my case, my daughter is very young so is not aware of the situation and would genuinely have a better life without her father in it! Any advice is appreciated!

    #7240 Report

    Rach4152
    Participant

    I’m in a similar situation. My daughter is coming up 3 months old. And she’s better off never knowing her real dad.

    #7248 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    Following. I’m exactly the same with my 3 month old.

    #7251 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    mental health issues

    #7255 Report

    H
    Participant

    When u say mental health issues jasmin3 do u mean depression?

    #7261 Report

    Nightrunner
    Participant

    would you consider contact center as its monitored?

    #7266 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    Anonymous do you have direct experience of this?

    My daughters dad has bipolar and is emotionally abusive.

    #7300 Report

    Faith
    Participant

    Domestic violence and drug/alcohol use

    #7316 Report

    Faith
    Participant

    Thanks Anonymous, I will send you a PM

    #7340 Report

    Hi, you should know that where DA/DV is alleged you should avoid mediation at all costs – MIAM is NOT necessary where abuse is alleged.

    Historically there has always been a presumption of “contact no matter what” (i.e. Fred West would probably get some sort of access), however, the rules have recently changed.  Have a look at PD12J.  Professionals are now supposed to remove the presumption of contact no matter what and start from a clean slate.

    However, the social workers, CAFCASS, judges and professionals have been working on the presumption of contact for so long that it is going to be really hard to get them to change and they must be challenged where it does not look like they are taking any notice of it.

    Be prepared to go to court and be prepared for your ex to get contact.

    If it doesn’t turn out that way then great, maybe he won’t be bothered to go down that route.

    #7342 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    The problem is with DV/DA, is that the courts here all sorts of accusations. There are many women claim it when in fact it is totally rubbish. I have come across one poor sole that was accused of sexual abuse of his very young daughter but it was totally made up by mother so she gets the house, daughter and gets rid of the father out of her life permanently. He was a decent man.

    It is, of course, used to try to get free legal representation. The people who do suffer are the ones that get falsely accused and the parents who have genuinely suffered it. Someone stated on a thread recently that you hear all sorts of stories of fathers getting access and then killing the child. This is skewing the reality. Kids are safer while in the same household to their biological father.

    If the father wants contact then there should be very good reason to decline such a position. A genuine risk to the child. As I got told by an agency while in a child residency battle, I chose to have a child with the person so I can’t then be totally blameless of the situation that transpired when son was very young. I took their point. It was not a DV situation as such but something as easily as bad.

     

    #7347 Report

    Faith
    Participant

    Yes here is a helpful article on this: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jan/20/uk-judges-change-court-rules-on-child-contact-for-violent-fathers-domestic-abuse

    castle dad, I understand what you’re saying and I realise there are false accusations but for someone who has actually suffered DV, the idea of shared custody or unsupervised contact is absolutely terrifying.

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