So used to living alone I'm now uneasy about living with new partner

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  • #27083 Report


    Ive been pretty much single for the last 9 years. I’d been on dates but so many men are liars and not genuine and after being hurt a few times o was ready to give up on men to be honest.

    However I have now met a really lovely guy who treats me well and is also lovely with my 12 year old daughter. He is very respectful and I finally feel I can see a future with someone new.

    But I’m now feeling really unsure about how I’m going to be if we decide to live together. Ive been so used to being on my own that now what I’ve always wanted to happen might be happening I find myself feeling really unsure and a bit scared.  I almost feel like running away even though I’ve been wanting to find someone special again for years.

    Has anyone else been in this sort of position? Did anyone else feel confused and wanting to end things so you didn’t have to go through these new strange feelings? Please tell me I’m not the only one!!

    #27142 Report


    Hey Whitingel,

    Defo you are not alone. I won’t tell you much about my relationship as it didn’t have a happy ending BUT these feelings are normal!!

    Fitting someone in your already planned life may be overwhelming so my advice to you is to set your own pace and maybe you can start by him staying over one night or two a week and see how it goes.

    Along the way you’ll figure out, I promise x


    #27144 Report


    Hi Whitingel,

    I’ve been on my own for a few years. I think it’s normal to feel like that. We get organised, we fill our lives with career and child and, if you’re like me, we’re pretty happy. All the plates are spinning nicely.

    Then someone comes along and the happy organised life that took years to build is difficult to give up..

    like Gam says, take it slowly. You don’t have to decide now, and you are absolutely right to be careful. Your daughter is 12, a sensitive age that doesn’t need disruption. I’d just push the decision off mentally, either until  it feels irresistible or until after her GCSEs. Trust your instincts. x

    #27367 Report


    Not all relationships have to be 24/7. I have a friend who just has holidays and swaps alternate weekends between hers and boyfriends home. Means he doesn’t take her for granted, and they both make an effort. Works for them.

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