14 September 2019 at 8:46 am #30347
I know there are better days and worse days, husband only left on 20th June and friends tell me I’m doing well, but I’m just so sad.
I used to be the one with endless patience, calming everything down when he got worked up with the children; now I’m snappy & irritable & my youngest has told me she doesn’t like me. It breaks my heart, even though I know it’s how she expresses her upset at age 7, I just feel like I’ve let my girls down so badly & am turning into a horrible Mum, getting frustrated trying to manage everything then snapping & crying.
He’s not phoning them regularly or even returning their calls now, yet he’s always been the most amazing husband & Dad until now. I really don’t know what to do for the best but I can’t carry on like this, it’s not fair on the girls.14 September 2019 at 5:12 pm #30352
I’m sorry to hear that and i feel your pain. Same as you, i have turned a bit ( a bit more) snappy and just lost the wish of being patient. I react to every single little thing ( on a bad day) but i also have good days when i remember who i was and how much i love them ( i have 2 little boys) and i’m back to my old self. I have found, the more i think about the situation, the more grumpy i get so i tend to block it out and leave it for the end of the day when they go to sleep and can’t see me falling apart. Not sure if this will help you, but i hope you’ll find a way to cope without him. Of course you can do it, but it takes time and feeling rejected doesn’t come easy…you’ll just have to accept it and move on. Try to reach out for help, any form of counselling will do ( friends come for free, but a more neutral person, can guide you through better)
All the best to you and just remember that you are not alone
X14 September 2019 at 8:00 pm #30356
I can completely empathise with you on this. I’m the same. Since I became separated I have been far snappier and less fun. Therefore, I have guilt about it all the time. I’ve tried counselling but that hasn’t made any difference. I’m desperately hoping things will become easier and that life with start to feel happier again.
Have you got family and friends to support you through this? X15 September 2019 at 2:41 pm #30369
I have amazing friends but they have their own families so I often feel I’m intruding, or they’re busy when I’m at my loneliest & saddest.23 September 2019 at 6:37 pm #30621
Yes this sounds familiar. I have the same issue. People always say ‘call me at any time’ and ‘pop round whenever’ but you can’t just show up and invite yourself in, particularly when they’re having quality family time.
How often do you have your children?23 September 2019 at 10:18 pm #30630
I have them all the time since he’s been out of work.
When he was working he had them alternate weekends Friday-Sunday evening & saw them 1-3 evenings a week depending on work.
They won’t go to her house though, so whether he’ll be able to keep having them overnight at all is questionable.24 September 2019 at 12:13 pm #30642
Missy, I did that too. The whole family routine was turned on its head and was stressy and miserable.
Putting some regular weekly events in place that didn’t rely on my ex helped. One night was pizza & movie night when I curled up with my son and didn’t try to do three things at once, and we were lazy.
And an outdoors thing at the weekend which my son could choose – cycling or building dens etc for a fixed two hours on a Sunday.
It gave us something to look forward to, and helped get some happy routine back. Things will get better x