I was told I could not fall pregnant by a private clinic, but months later and I’m pregnant by a casual partner. He has made it clear he doesn’t want the baby and made it abundantly clear I’ll be a single parent. He has since suggested he would like a DNA test once the baby is born. The DNA test is not a problem as I have nothing to hide, but I’m just feeling quite low/sad by the whole experience so far. He isn’t supportive and went against my will by telling all his family and a friend before I’ve had my three month scan. Unfortunately I have a very small family and their more opinionated than supportive. I’ve been quiet with friends and noticed if I don’t make an effort with them its radio silence.
So, I’m just feeling a little low and came across this forum which I thought might be helpful.
I am also single and pregnant so understand what you are going through. My family have been opinionated but are now much more supportive as my due date nears. Feel free to message me if you’d like to chat x
I really hope what I am about to say brings you some comfort and positivity.
I was in a very similar situation as you Pearl. I have lived with believing I couldn’t have children for 9 years. All I have ever wanted, from such a young age, was to be a mother and a teacher. When one of those options was taken from me at 19, I threw everything I had into my career. It destroyed my 7 year relationship, and was a huge barrier for me when dating again. How soon do you say “Yeah, I probably can’t have kids so feel free to leave now.” ? Fast foward a few years of being single, I met someone new, few dates later (and too many wines) we spent the night together. The next week I called it all off and decided he wasn’t for me. Moved away from the area and 4 months later, to my utter shock, found out I was pregnant. He has never been involved. But my point is, my daughter turned 1 a few weeks ago, and it has truly been the best year of my life. She is everything I could have wished for and more. Yes it’s hard, really hard at times. I carry all the responsibility for her – emotionally, physically and financially and that’s a heavy load. But I wouldn’t change it for the entire world. I parent how I always wanted too, without having to consider anyone else, everything I do is for her and truth be told, opening my heart to her has shown me how to love again. My family are very supportive and I have friends who have children around the same age ( they are my absolute saviours on the bad days). But the things they find tough, are just the same as me – even though they both have husbands.
There will be awkward moments and questions, many tears and sleepless nights, missed events and worries, but my goodness it is SO worth it.
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