Single parents from Calderdale?

[Carlp69]

Hi all,

Just recently separated, wonder if there are any others in here from Calderdale or within cloee proximity, that would like to get together for a chat, cus my head us like mushy peas at the minute. 🙏🏽

[Greenfingers]

Hey carlp69

Im in Calderdale, if you need to chat then I’m here, I’ve been separated for 2yrs+ now and I’m in a much better place, it does get easier with time once the practical issues are sorted such as housing, finance and contact

[Carlp69]

Hi there DMP

Thanks for the reply. I’m in a good place re loving my loving life etc it’s just my ex to be seems to think she can keep the house until my youngest (9) is 18, I also could do with a chat re my kids and their needs and wants so would be grateful if you could spare some time to chat? Many thanks Carl 🙏🏽

[Greenfingers]

Yeah sure, unfortunately I don’t hold the answer re the ex wanting to keep the house. I have a friend going through a similar thing at the moment. Do you own the house jointly? You can private message me if you prefer or talk openly on the forum to benefit others in the same position.

[Carlp69]

Having spoken to my ex, she claims this keeping the house came from her solicitor, so will reach out to one tomorrow to find out what’s what.

Yes it’s jointly owned.

[Greenfingers]

Sounds like the same problem my friend is having. The solicitor will likely advise you not to leave the property either. If you leave, she will have a right to remain until the youngest leaves full time education, you will be unable to obtain a further mortgage as you’ll be tied to the old mortgage (unless she can afford to buy you out), for which you will remain partially responsible. She potentially could make a claim for spousal maintenance (if you’re married), her chance of obtaining this will depend whether she works. This is in addition to child maintenance. I imagine your solicitor will encourage you to stay put until the ex arrives at a point where she feels unable to live with you anymore, in the hope she’ll conclude putting the house up for sale the best option.

[Carlp69]

She’ll not be happy me staying as I am sleeping on my youngest bedroom and she is sleeping in our bed?

Then there’s questions around her seeing another bloke and possibly wanting to being him back to the house?

My youngest has said that she wants to spend 4 days a week with me when I move out and giving my work pattern works well around school hours and school holidays. Not sure how that could impact on child maintenance etc…

[Greenfingers]

She might not be happy but you have presumably an equal right to be there.

Re new partners, its a matter of respect and establishing some ground rules. Obviously it makes sense you try maintain an amicable relationship. Personally I wouldn’t have wanted new partners coming into my home to stay overnight, I don’t feel that’s in the best interests of my children. It would have only been to meet the needs of my ex.

Have you considered buying her out of the house if you’re financially able to do that?

[Carlp69]

To be fair, ground rules haven’t really be discussed, as I was only coming home temporarily, as I was living in our tourer caravan and needed to get back home until I could find a place to rent, but given what you’ve said, I am, tomorrow, going to get legal advice and see what us said and from there I can look at discussing future plans with her.

Thank you so much for your help and support, it restores faith in humankindness. 🙏🏽

[Greenfingers]

Morning Carlp69

Make sure you go armed with your questions as a free half hour will whizz by. When I was in a similar position to you, i saw a few ‘free half hour solicitors’ but chose to stick with the one that gave me a plan when I left the consultation. Don’t use it as a counselling service, go with a specific aim. Good luck

[Carlp69]

Good morning DMP

Thank you so much for your support, I will be making a list of questions this morning and will endeavour to stick to getting answers to them.

I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙏🏽

 

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