Single Parent Loneliness

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  HRB123 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #28391 Report

    bluesman
    Participant

    Evening all

     

    First post on here. So hi.

    I am a single dad with a 5 year old son.  His mother lives nearby and it is amicable. I however  have no family near by and struggle with loneliness…especially when I have my son…which is often and on a regular basis.

    It’s silly because I love being with him…but I cant shake this feeling of anxiety and apprehension when I have him.

    I try to make his time with me special..he has a nice bedroom, we do good things together and plan days out. Hes a happy lad and I take him to group activites such as swimming lessons and have put his name on the waiting list for beavers etc.

    I would love to take him on holiday but it would just be me and him.. I am petrified  I would struggle and get lonely and down when we get there..in fact I know I would. I took him away for one night recently and had a huge emotional episode when we were there. My son was amazing and said ‘it’s ok daddy I’m here’…how amazing is that?!?

    Any advice or tips/experiences? I’ve even tried to look at companies who specialise is holidays for single parents but there too expensive  for me at the moment.

     

    It’s awful feeling like his and I feel so guilty for it.

     

    Thanks for listening

     

    #28392 Report

    mongoose6000
    Participant

    Hi I’m Nikki, I have a 9 month old and I know what you mean about feeling lonely.I am in an area where I know nobody, had to leave my job and im doing everything on my own as my ex has not contacted to see our daughter since last december no messages nothing.

    I have just made friends with my neighbours as i am so fed up of being on my own and after 7pm is like torture tbh .

    Have you accessed any sort of counselling as may help your anxiety, i have it and im just on the road to rebuild x

    #28393 Report

    bluesman
    Participant

    Hey Nikki I’m Andy

    Thanks for replying . Yes I’ve had lots of counselling.. you name it I’ve done it…and it has helped.

    It’s horrible isnt it. Where abouts are you? My area seems to have a lack of group things for kids…and I have looked. I agree with the after 7pm thing…dread it every day

     

    #28410 Report

    Kanger1
    Participant

    Hi

    Yes loneliness is hard and although you can keep yourself busy once you sit down when they are in bed it highlights the fact you are on your own 😕

    I have joined the meet up app which is really good for getting out and about. I have my daughter 5 days/nights a week so nights out are precious and keep me balanced. I really recommend the app.

    Maybe go away somewhere for a short time in this country? At age 5 they make friends wherever they go if you go somewhere with onsite facilities  they will probably have activities on too? Keep you both busy and chatting to others? Maybe haven site or something similar?

    Its not easy, i have a 9 yr old who has always put me in situations where I have to talk to other parents 😆 but does make being on your own with your child easier.

    I guess keep perservering and as time goes on it will get easier.

    #28411 Report

    bluesman
    Participant

    Thank you.  I’ll try the app

    #28545 Report

    thumpalumps
    Participant

    Hi Andy

    I’m a single mum to a five year old girl. We have been on quite a few holidays just the two of us and I love it. We started with just one night away and worked up to five days – we’ve just come back from Disneyland Paris which was wonderful.

    Make a plan to build up the time you are away. Have you ever been to Drayton Manor? They have an excellent Thomas Land with lots of rides for kids around your son’s age. You can book a stay and play package where you get park tickets and a night at the hotel. It’s so easy. You park at the hotel, check-in and get your park tickets then walk over to the theme park. Once it’s closed, the hotel has a nice playground and a half-decent restaurant. It’s a really easy break; it’s short and sweet; and it’s really busy so you won’t have time to worry.

    Give yourself a break. It’s great that you’ve already done a night away just make sure you don’t wait too long to try it again.

     

    As for the loneliness, I don’t have an answer there, I’m afraid. Perhaps you could try some activities in your time that you don’t see your son.

    #28546 Report

    Om22
    Participant

    Hi

    I found this site while looking for single parent holidays and your post was the first one I read. And although I have no advice for you apart from I concur with what has already been said, I just want to say what you wrote, that could have been me talking it was like you were writing my thoughts down so I just wanted to say your not alone.

    my little girl is nearly 2 and I haven’t tried a holiday on our own yet but I know I will soon

    hope this helps a little just to know i think it’s normal to feel this way

    Cerys

    #28549 Report

    bluesman
    Participant

    Thanks for all your replies guys.  Appreciated

    #28557 Report

    HRB123
    Participant

    Hi I am new to this site too.

    I can really relate to loneliness as a single parent.  My children are 16 and 14 but I don’t have the confidence to take them away on my own. Today they have gone away with their dad for 2 weeks to visit his family, so the children are having good times, but I want to make memories for the three of us.

    My counsellor suggested this site to me.

    thanks

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