Single parent, loneliness and depression.

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  • #59139 Report

    Nerdmom
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’ve never used this site before but I’m at a loss on what to do. Im on a huge waiting list for councelling with the NHS but I know what the issue is its extreme loneliness. I have no family, no longer a circle of friends and my husband left just before lockdown. I have been working from home, doing the homeschooling thing all of last year also (like everyone). I live in the middle of nowhere, my house wouldnt sell and to exacerbate things I just cant pass my driving test due to some sort of stage fright or nerves. I feel imprisoned, lonely, and now heavily depressed. I keep trying things to get out of this situation but I cant seem to escape it. Im starting to wish I was dead which is stupid really because there are worse off people and my kids are amazing, just to elaborate I am not suicidal just tired of battling on with everything and sometimes wish it would just end ( but I dont want that really I think the daydreams actually mean I want the hardship to end). I just dont know what to do, feel too low even to meet people. Antidepressants make me ill, but I beleive they treat a symptom not the cause and I cant seem to treat the cause, which is severe loneliness. I am on the brink of quitting my professional job just to go work around people… But dont know how I’d find time, money for childcare. I just dont know what to do.

    #59154 Report

    Dpsebast
    Participant

    I am sorry to hear you are going through this at the moment. Like you, I also worry about the loneliness as I will have to move out of the family home. I also work from home and never see people or can have a gossip with work colleagues as these are people I only know from working and have never met them.

    Most of the people I have gotten to know in our town is through my wife and can’t see them wanting to invite me anywhere.

    We just need to be strong and for me, the priority are my kids

     

     

     

    #59162 Report

    MrTorez
    Participant

    Hi – really sorry you’re going through this but remember, it all gets better, maybe not in a day, month or a year but it will get better and you’ll be a stronger person.

    I was at a low point during my divorce, i didnt see how i’d cope with everything, I had no friends, money was a worry, work was a worry…. it was tough. I went on the anti depressants and they did work, they don’t just treat a symptom they can help restore a natural chemical balance in the brain but i also went to counselling and for someone that hates talking especially about himself i found it amazing.

    You’re clearly down, can you speak to your doctor and let them know how down you’re feeling right now, they may be able to have you prioritised and move you up the waiting list. If not i’m sure there are many charities or online support groups like https://www.mind.org.uk/ that may be of use.

    Here I am a year or so later the happiest i’ve been in many years. I reached out to work colleagues (they could see something was wrong) and they were fantastic…. all the years i’d never opened up to them and yet they were still there to listen and offer advice. I now consider them friends rather than work colleagues. Is this something you could do? Could you speak to your employer and see if you can work from the office a few times a week just for that social interaction?

    Try googling for local support groups of other single mums, if you cant drive then maybe you can host?

    #59164 Report

    IGoByTheNameMum
    Participant

    Hi, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. The guys above have given some very good that I second- can’t really add to but I just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren’t on your own.

    Although, you feel like you want to give up, the fact you can to this site proves you still have fighting spirit left in you. You’re energy may be low but somethings we need to experience the lows to appreciate the highs and joys coming your way.?! Maybe just smiling and saying hi to mum’s on the school run to start building on casual chat, friendship or play date etc?? Coming on here, expressing it and letting it out is a very good place to start also x

     

     

     

    I really do understand your position, you could have spoken for me in your post.

    #59168 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi Nerdmom, I’m sorry to hear how you are feeling. I’m one of the moderators here on the forum and agree with Mr Torez that a single parents’ support group might help. You can use this link to search for Gingerbread groups in your area, and there’s also info on how to set up a group yourself. Single parent groups | Gingerbread. 

    Please look out for a direct message from me with some other ideas.

    best regards, Helen

    #59177 Report

    Nerdmom
    Participant

    Thanks everyone, really appreciate the replies. Im feeling a bit better today but still in on my own. Ill try one of those helplines. Good to know I’m not on my own here, as awful as that is because it shouldn’t happen in the first place.

    #59194 Report

    MM97
    Participant

    Hey 😊 Really sorry you feel this way. I can really sympathise with your situation. I’m 24 and my boyfriend of 5 years left me when I found out I was pregnant and he has nothing to do with me or my 5 month old boy. All my friends don’t talk to me anymore and I can’t go back to work because I have no childcare and I can’t afford it and I’m very trapped and extremely lonley like you are. I understand too with antidepressants making you ill. I don’t recommend them either! I have bipolar and I get prescribed anti psychotics even though I’m type 2 bipolar and not type 1 and they don’t do anything but make you fat and tired and makes life even more difficult. I really wish I could give you some advice but I just hope knowing you aren’t alone helps slightly. Your post definitely helped me feel less alone! x

    #59234 Report

    Divine empress
    Participant

    Hi nerdmom i can sympathise also I’m sorry your feeling like this I’ve been feeling the same recently, A year ago I left the father of my 2 children because of physical and emotional abuse I was being submitted to and the final straw was when my ex got someone else pregnant while still in a relationship with me not only that he contracted a STI from that person and passed it on to me so yes I was at the end of my limit, for a while tried to co parent but was me with extreme manipulation and blackmail over looking after the children as he didn’t want me moving on with anyone else while he was looking after his children I couldn’t take the stress anymore and finally completely cut him out of my children and my life which was really hard because I didn’t want my children to be without their father but they are better off without him which kills me to say so I’ve been so depressed and feel like I’m so broken who would want me! But I’ve joined this forum and everyone seems to get it and are in similar situations I feel a lot better that It’s not just me that is struggling not that I want anyone to feel like this but I don’t feel so alone on here. X

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