Single parent issues of every day life

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    hi there,

    Just came across with this forum, in a pretty unhappy mood searching for something, not sure what really, reassurance or people walking in the same shoes. I just feel pretty hopeless, bringing in two boys (8,11)on my own, I am sure many of you walk the same walk… I feel that I have been so strong for a while and just have been loosing it lately. My older son has been really manipulative and have terrible power tantrums for every silly thing and that is the top of the iceberg. Tried to seek help for us from cams but he does not meet threshold unfortunatelly as he has shown improvement. We even sat through an assessment in the hospital. Not sure if I can cope anymore to be honest. I am not sure how you all deal with your children, I feel that being on your own is just so overwhelming, I have hardly ever have free time when I am not at work or the kids are not with me. Very rarely when I socialise, I feel like a different person, someone bright and interesting, when the kids are with me I just can’t be the same because of all the demand, misbehaviours and manipulation, I just become so drained, like someone who is being suffocated.

    I am off to the GP to ask for some medication as I have been having anxiety attack and developed social anxiety! Hope that will help a bit. Just feel that we live on the edge of this society and frankly nobody cares. I had been 5 years and I have turned into someone else, I never smile or have interest in anything, I just can’t relax at all, always stiff and rigid. I have lost the will to deal with things and sometimes it feels that I only just look out of my head and not even there. I thought I will just put this out there, maybe someone listens… and yes thanks for listening!

    #29766 Report


    Hi Jesslin,

    I hope you don’t mind me saying but it sounds as though the primary problem is that your suffering a form of depression. I think it would be worth speaking to your doctor.

    As well as the doctor maybe try giving this organisation a ring:

    Mind 0300 123 3393

    I’d also give the gingerbread team a ring on their helpline to further signpost you.

    You don’t have to stay feeling like this, it will get better once you get a little help.

    All the best


    #29769 Report


    Hi Jess, I have an 11yo boy, and have very little help from his dad.

    Son went through a horrendous stage at the start of this year, previously funny & good humoured, he was picking fights, being rude & sullen. Eight months felt like a constant battle.

    whether a combination of hormones, SATS stress, or not having enough physical outlet for all that energy, it was very difficult.I think he was very bored with the end of primary school as well.

    I took him cycling & swimming & to karate a lot, cycling on the common most evenings just to wear him out.

    I feel like I’m on the margins as well.  My socialising is limited to lunchtimes, and very occasional meet-ups with friends & neighbours. I do Park run some Saturday mornings  (my sane hour) and run one lunchtime a week. I can’t remember when I met anyone new. But the fresh air helps me stay positive.

    I think Mark may be right. You do sound a bit depressed. Can you allocate some time for just you each week, even if only an hour.  Do you have a local gingerbread group? Where, roughly, are you based?

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