Single mum with a 15yr old daughter out of control
8 January 2021 at 2:08 pm #47833
Hi, this is my first time doing anything like this but thought it may possibly help as I’m really struggling with my 15 year old daughter over the last 12 months and since lockdown etc. She’s addicted to her mobile phone, she will not put it away and is up to all hours chatting away! This means she sleeps in until 1pm sometimes later and she’s so tired all the time. She is refusing to do online learning and registration with the form tutor at 8.30am each day. She wants to constantly see friends and boyfriend even tho I tell her she can’t at the min due to the current Covid situation but she just doesn’t care. She’s argumentative and screams at me to go away or get out, even swears and calls me names. She’ll leave the house anyway and recently I’ve started to turn her data / calls off so she can’t use her phone when she acts up but this has resulted in her damaging the home and getting very very irate it’s like anger just takes over her. She just has no respect for me and doesn’t listen to a word I say, I don’t know what to do. Is anyone else having the same issues with their teenage child?
I also work full time and currently working from home, my job is very stressful and it’s having a massive impact on my work and my mental health. Feel like a prisoner in my own home.
thanks8 January 2021 at 2:15 pm #47835
Yes unfortunately you are in good company.Consequences/punishments just exacerbate things.I’ve been advised that it might help to show her more love,be more like a peer,be her best friend in fact,that if I don’t she will go to someone else who will do all above.It’s difficult when she’s being obnoxious and we have our moments….I’m trying.But my goodness so is she.8 January 2021 at 2:22 pm #47837
yes it’s just so hard, the more I give the more she seems to want! At the min she just seems to hate me. It’s so so hard to discipline her and she just will not put the phone down at all, all I ask is that the phone goes away at 11pm so she can at least get some sleep and then get up for school remote learning but it’s just not happening and I don’t know what else to do. School have been messaging me saying she’s not attended registration and it’s been 3 days now. Ugh this is so hard.8 January 2021 at 2:36 pm #47841
Yep mine’s 17.Everyone else thinks she’s so nice.Mine hates me on & off but I remember doing the same when I was that age…but my mum wasn’t on her own.Don’t take it personally.Sorry I’m not very good with the advice.8 January 2021 at 2:45 pm #47843
No just talking to like minded parents helps, at least I’m not alone as was worrying it was just me. I know deep down she doesn’t hate me it’s just so so stressful navigating all of this alone, trying to be mum, friend, confidant and trying to teach her boundaries etc. I hate getting in to arguments with her. I think it’s partly my fault because I’ve always been quite easy going with her and never really impossible strict rules but with the lockdown and everything I just think no enough is enough she needs to understand it’s real and that she’s not invincible.
she’s so tired all the time it’s the mobile that’s my main issue trying to restrict the time she spends on it past 11 or 12pm, honestly you’d think her whole world was ending!
she’s become obsessed with this particular boy atm and that’s her main priority wanting to see him and friends but where do I draw the line as so many of her other close friends are all still doing sleepovers and mingling with each other and my daughter feels so left out and of course that’s all my fault so she gets angry at me.8 January 2021 at 3:26 pm #47849
what about her dad? whats his situation and does your daughter want to see him?8 January 2021 at 4:08 pm #47852
She hasn’t seen her dad since she was 5, so it’s just me. I do have family around me that are very supportive but ultimately I just want her to respect what I ask and take on board what I’m saying. Because we are in lockdown it’s difficult to get the support of other family members.8 January 2021 at 4:21 pm #47856
Sit her down for a chat and let her know you only want the best for her, I agree with giving more love than too much discipline but explain where she must draw the line, my daughter is also 15 and can drive me to despair sometimes but other times we laugh and that’s when I can really let her know how I feel.