Single mum to only child – so much guilt

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  • #60121 Report

    Lauks6
    Participant

    Hi,

    ive been separated almost two years, living on my own for one year in Nottingham and it feels like it’s getting harder… I have a beautiful 4 year old girl who is highly sensitive but highly intelligent but can be quite difficult too…I feel super guilty that she’s an only child and that I don’t live near any family and none of my friends have kids… I need to meet people locally with similar age kids for play dates etc but it’s so tough as everyone seems to already be in their groups…

    it doesn’t help that I live a few miles away from her school too as I had to rent away from the area…

    I feel so much guilt for my daughter not having that ‘family’ environment and most time it’s just me and her and she’s always commenting about wanting brothers and sisters etc…

     

    anyone had this? How do you get past these feelings of guilt and also meet people?

    thanks so much

     

    #60122 Report

    Wivanay
    Participant

    Hi Lauks6

    I’ve had similar myself, I was a bit late to the party with kids, so all my friends kids are more or less grown. But I did move back over by family recently as I was feeling really isolated, and my lad was missing out on a big chunk of relatives. Could you maybe move a bit closer to family?

    I have also been looking at groups for my lad to join. He’s coming up 4 as well, so it’s been a bit difficult to find any sports type groups due to age and their insurance policies, but have found a tots judo class I’ll be taking him to as a bit of extra socialising for him, and me.

    I know what you mean with feeling guilty, this really wasn’t how I wanted things to turn out. But he is happy, and settled, and loved. Me and his mum get on well for the most part which is a bonus. It would be nice to be able to have play dates with friends, because I see him sitting and playing on his own, and it does upset me sometimes. I’m hoping I can gain some friendships through the judo classes. Maybe have a look at some classes or groups that are age specific, so I’d have thought the likelihood of finding someone to fit the bill, will be higher.

    Try not to let the guilt get in too deep, it really doesn’t help, and you’ve nothing to feel guilty about. It’s just a chain of events that bring us to a certain point, but the outcome can always be changed. Just takes a bit of thinking about.

    #60124 Report

    Lauks6
    Participant

    Thanks for your reply. Really helpful and nice to know I’m not alone…

    I can’t move near family as they are 3-4 hours away or abroad and my daughter has started school and my job is here and her dad… she struggles anyway with the break up and if she couldn’t see him often I think she would be terrible… it’s so hard but think I have to stay put at least for now and try meet prior round here…

    Joining groups and classes are a good idea.. I’ve just enquired about a dance class… so will see…

    thanks so much

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