Single mum to 3 year old and newly pregnant

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  • #8577 Report

    animalprint
    Participant

    Hi

     

    I am a single mum to a beautiful 3 year old girl, my partner (at the time) and i had been together around 7 years and then we found out i was pregnant. Totally over the moon, not long after i found out i was pregnant i also discovered a long term affair had been going on, i decided to leave him. At the beginning things were very fraught between us but 3 years on we are amicable and he has a great relationship with our daughter, he sees her very regularly and everything was going smoothly.  Just before xmas I met someone, the first person id met since my ex and i split, id gave myself enough time to heal from my ex and felt it was the right time to start back in the dating game, the guy seemed great no kids of his own but seemed a good egg – until he completely ghosted me. It was only about 6 weeks we had been dating and i hadnt introduced him to my daughter or anything, i wouldnt say i was heartbroken but more shocked how people behave when they date now. fast forward to yesterday and i discovered i am pregnant. Shocked to the core is an understatement. I was taking the pill rigividon and hadnt missed any or taken any late so im totally stumped how this happened. I am so lost. The thought of an abortion kills me its not something ive ever thought id consider, but can i do it alone? a newborn and a toddler? i am beyond petrified i feel totally different to how i felt when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter.  Has anyone been in this situation before?

    #8578 Report

    Butterfly13
    Participant

    Hi animalprint, I haven’t been in your position but didn’t want to just pass your post after reading.

    Is there anyone you can talk to; close family or friend? Can you  speak to your doctor about the pregnancy and how you are currently feeling?

    Only you know what is right for you but I believe if you decide to keep the baby you will do an amazing job just like you are doing with your little girl.

    Stay strong x

    #8579 Report

    Saysay1
    Participant

    Hi animal print. I’m in a similar position to you. I have a 2 and a half year old son and and heavily pregnant with my second and me and the dad are now no longer together. I do have worries also about being a single mum to two kids, but I didn’t give up and am keeping the 2nd child. I know the dad will still like to be involved which is great, but obviously not in the same kind of way as if we were together. Im here to talk if you want to 🙂

    #8580 Report

    animalprint
    Participant

    thank you both for your replies, im so shocked, i dont agree with abortions apart from in bad circumstances, although i was using contraceptives its still my responsibility. Im thinking is this baby meant to be? i cant believe it this is all i keep saying, ive spoke to my mum shes said to keep it my daughter has been brought up lovely is so caring loving and happy and it would be a joy to bring another. It sounds terrible but its what other people will think of me 2 kids to 2 dads single mum etc, not knowing i was with my ex 7 years before i had my daughter and that this new baby was abandoned by a man who came across as the loveliest guy on the planet yet vanished, my brain sways i go from yes you can do this! to oh my god how am i going to cope, i think having an abortion would effect me more and haunt me for the rest of my days as opposed to stepping up and dealing with it, im just so scared support wise, financially etc x

    #8584 Report

    Saysay1
    Participant

    Yeah I completely understand how you must be feeling. I would say that its definitely a big decision to make as you know, so I would take your time to decide what’s best. I personally dont think that having 2 kids by 2 different dad’s is such a bad thing. Things happen in life, and some people have 4 kids by 4 different dads, who are others to judge. I also believe that your mum would most likely try to support you if you kept the new baby. And you never know, maybe later on the father to your new baby may choose to step up and help you. If you cant cope financially you could possibly be entitled to some financial help from the government. Or the father would have to legally help out even if its through CSA, it shouldn’t all be your worry only. I hope this helps 🙂 x

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