Single mum, struggling with Dads behaviour

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  • #56867 Report

    Mads5
    Participant

    I have 4 teens, left their dad last year after his affairs and physical/verbal abuse.

    The children still want to see him so he visits my house every other Sunday afternoon (his choice of timing). He hasn’t spoken a word to me since Christmas.  I hate having him in my house, but my kids feel sorry for him.

    He took them out for the first time in a year last week, and bought the 3 boys back sunburnt. Youngest went straight to bed clearly not having drunk enough.

    He currently pays half my rent (we both work) but has warned not for much longer. He does nothing to help with their care- no lifts/support. He just watches YouTube for a couple of hours everyother work then goes.

     

    I don’t know how to handle this as he was so verbally aggressive I don’t want to communicate with him, but my kids still want to see him.

    #56873 Report

    Carmen
    Moderator

    hi Mads5, I’m one of the moderators here. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this.  Our support pages on separation Separating | Gingerbread

    might provide some helpful advice – there is some information on contact here too Making arrangements for your children | Gingerbread 

    Alternatively, you may find our  Single Parents Helpline helpful.  Here are the contact details:

     

    Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

     

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered

    #56883 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    does he live far away from you? it’s your choice and if you don’t want him coming to your house, then suggest it can be at his place or somewhere else.

    #56920 Report

    Mads5
    Participant

    Its hard as the children prefer to see him at their home, which I want to support. But I realise to all intents and purposes we are still treading on eggshells 18 months after I kicked him out.

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