Single mum or termination
31 December 2019 at 5:45 pm #34680
I had a miscarriage in May 2019, me and both my boyfriend decided to try again. I found out on the 3/11 that I was pregnant again and we were both happy. Fast forward to now and my boyfriend no longer wants a child, he would rather me have an abortion so that we can work on our relationship. If I don’t have the abortion I’ll end up a single mum as he wants nothing to do with me and the child. I’m split between what to do, we both wanted the child to start with and now everything seems like a mess. Has anyone else been through something like this and come out of it?31 December 2019 at 6:03 pm #34682
I was really saddened to read your post, it’s so unfair on you. I think your fella is really wrong to try to force you into having an abortion, he’s basically blackmailing you.
If you want the baby then have it, if he doesn’t stick around then he doesn’t deserve you or the baby. A lot of single parents do it by themselves and do a fantastic job so don’t even let that be a consideration.
If you want the baby and have an abortion to keep your relationship I’m sorry to say that you will probably regret it so you need to think very carefully.
Another resource that may help is:
British pregnancy advisory service 0345 7304030
Family Lives provide general support to families on issues around parenting, emotional support and just generally coping as a parent https://www.familylives.org.uk/ 0808 800 2222
Good luck with everything
Mark31 December 2019 at 6:14 pm #34683
What a sad post! I really think you need to think about this and if you want to have the baby, do that.
If you terminate and the future doesn’t work out with your boyfriend you could be in a world of pain and trauma for doing something you really didn’t want to do.
ive been a single mum practically from 6 1/2 months pregnant and I was so scared at the prospect of being a single mum! It is hard, but the benefits outweigh the stress
xx31 December 2019 at 8:20 pm #34692
I haven’t been thru this but the question is, taking him out of the picture, do YOU want the baby? Never mind what he said yesterday, what he might say tomorrow or what he might say in the future, this is about you and you only at this point. If you want the baby don’t have an abortion to keep him happy for the moment, keep the baby and keep yourself happy.
Personally I think he is talking aload of BS with working on the relationship.If he wanted to work on making the relationship better he would not be pushing you into having an abortion, that’s not how to make a relationship work my love.2 January 2020 at 10:41 pm #34817
If you still want a baby then keep the baby, regardless of what your boyfriend thinks 😀3 January 2020 at 1:45 pm #34829
I’m just so confused what to do. I’m so used to having him around, the thought of losing him and being on my own scares me. But on the other hand, how he’s treated me recently I no longer feel the love I used to have him (but still can’t get used to being without him around).
im finding it hard to enjoy the pregnancy when I don’t know what to do, and it sucks because all of my family are so so happy3 January 2020 at 8:37 pm #34836
This is a really shitty situation he has put you in.
Being scared of being alone after a long relationship is totally normal, pregnant or not, so don’t think your only feeling this way because of the baby. The way I see it, if you abort the baby and then your partner still ends up leaving you two months down the line anyway… will you always regret having lost your baby? I never believed I could manage without my ex, he did everything of any importance and I was in charge of feeding and raising our daughter. But fast forward to now and I am fine on my own. And you will be too. Baby or not, you’ll be ok. You’ve got this, whatever you decide 👌🏻 Don’t be bullied into a decision by anybody else. Think of you. This is your baby.
Best of luck x6 January 2020 at 5:08 pm #34989
I finally told my boyfriend that I cannot have a termination as it wouldn’t be for the right reasons. I would only be getting rid of the child to please him so that I wouldn’t lose him, however after looking at the bigger picture and realising how bad he continued to treat me even though I was going to do the option he wanted. I have decided that either way I will lose him, therefore I’d rather be happy keeping my child to show something came out of this than be alone and upset, regretting my decision.
Thank you all for your help. I really appreciate it6 January 2020 at 5:52 pm #34990
Very happy you have made a decision that’s right for you, now you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and eventually a lovely new baby 😀6 January 2020 at 6:49 pm #34994
Glad you made a decision that is right for YOU. Not him. This for you and your baby. Well done x6 January 2020 at 7:06 pm #34995
Good choice because it came from your own decision.
you are the voice of your child, and if he was worth anything, he would stick by you whatever the outcome.
power to you.6 January 2020 at 7:15 pm #34997
Good on you Lauren, this decision is one you won’t regret.
We are all rooting for you in this incredible journey of becoming a mum ☺6 January 2020 at 10:42 pm #35006
JessicaJones, it’s my fault for having a username that’s different to my actual name, Jon (or John) is my middle name, it’s also my son’s name.
I chose that username many years ago and it’s now become default although I realise now it can be confusing so will think about changing it.