Single mum or termination

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Ramblinjon 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #34680 Report

    Laurenr99
    Participant

    I had a miscarriage in May 2019, me and both my boyfriend decided to try again. I found out on the 3/11 that I was pregnant again and we were both happy. Fast forward to now and my boyfriend no longer wants a child, he would rather me have an abortion so that we can work on our relationship. If I don’t have the abortion I’ll end up a single mum as he wants nothing to do with me and the child. I’m split between what to do, we both wanted the child to start with and now everything seems like a mess. Has anyone else been through something like this and come out of it?

    #34682 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    I was really saddened to read your post, it’s so unfair on you. I think your fella is really wrong to try to force you into having an abortion, he’s basically blackmailing you.

    If you want the baby then have it, if he doesn’t stick around then he doesn’t deserve you or the baby. A lot of single parents do it by themselves and do a fantastic job so don’t even let that be a consideration.

    If you want the baby and have an abortion to keep your relationship I’m sorry to say that you will probably regret it so you need to think very carefully.

    Another resource that may help is:

    British pregnancy advisory service 0345 7304030

    And

    Family Lives provide general support to families on issues around parenting, emotional support and just generally coping as a parent https://www.familylives.org.uk/  0808 800 2222

    Good luck with everything

    Mark

    #34683 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    What a sad post! I really think you need to think about this and if you want to have the baby, do that.
    If you terminate and the future doesn’t work out with your boyfriend you could be in a world of pain and trauma for doing something you really didn’t want to do.
    ive been a single mum practically from 6 1/2 months pregnant and I was so scared at the prospect of being a single mum! It is hard, but the benefits outweigh the stress

    xx

    #34692 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    I haven’t been thru this but the question is, taking him out of the picture, do YOU want the baby? Never mind what he said yesterday, what he might say tomorrow or what he might say in the future, this is about you and you only at this point. If you want the baby don’t have an abortion to keep him happy for the moment, keep the baby and keep yourself happy.

    Personally I think he is talking aload of BS with working on the relationship.If he wanted to work on making the relationship better he would not be pushing you into having an abortion, that’s not how to make a relationship work my love.

    #34817 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    If you still want a baby then keep the baby, regardless of what your boyfriend thinks 😀

    #34829 Report

    Laurenr99
    Participant

    I’m just so confused what to do. I’m so used to having him around, the thought of losing him and being on my own scares me. But on the other hand, how he’s treated me recently I no longer feel the love I used to have him (but still can’t get used to being without him around).

    im finding it hard to enjoy the pregnancy when I don’t know what to do, and it sucks because all of my family are so so happy

    #34836 Report

    ChasingHappiness
    Participant

    This is a really shitty situation he has put you in.

    Being scared of being alone after a long relationship is totally normal, pregnant or not, so don’t think your only feeling this way because of the baby. The way I see it, if you abort the baby and then your partner still ends up leaving you two months down the line anyway… will you always regret having lost your baby? I never believed I could manage without my ex, he did everything of any importance and I was in charge of feeding and raising our daughter. But fast forward to now and  I am fine on my own. And you will be too. Baby or not, you’ll be ok. You’ve  got this, whatever you decide 👌🏻 Don’t be bullied into a decision by anybody else. Think of you. This is your baby.
    Best of luck x

    #34989 Report

    Laurenr99
    Participant

    I finally told my boyfriend that I cannot have a termination as it wouldn’t be for the right reasons. I would only be getting rid of the child to please him so that I wouldn’t lose him, however after looking at the bigger picture and realising how bad he continued to treat me even though I was going to do the option he wanted. I have decided that either way I will lose him, therefore I’d rather be happy keeping my child to show something came out of this than be alone and upset, regretting my decision.

    Thank you all for your help. I really appreciate it

    #34990 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    Very happy you have made a decision that’s right for you, now you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and eventually a lovely new baby 😀

    #34994 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hey,

    Glad you made a decision that is right for YOU. Not him. This for you and your baby. Well done x

    #34995 Report

    Lissy
    Participant

    Good choice because it came from your own decision.
    you are the voice of your child, and if he was worth anything, he would stick by you whatever the outcome.
    power to you.

    #34997 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Good on you Lauren, this decision is one you won’t regret.

    We are all rooting for you in this incredible journey of becoming a mum ☺

    #35006 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    JessicaJones, it’s my fault for having a username that’s different to my actual name, Jon (or John) is my middle name, it’s also my son’s name.

    I chose that username many years ago and it’s now become default although I realise now it can be confusing so will think about changing it.

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