Single mum needing help please
10 August 2020 at 11:09 am #42851
I’m writing this with such a heavy heart. I have always suffered with depression and I’m not a weak person. I have a beautiful, very active and cheeky little boy. He’s 19 months old. His dad has never had anything to do with him so just me on my own.
I am so angry because I feel like the people I have trusted the most have completely let me down. I have not ever had a good relationship with my mum, so when I fell pregnant, she basically was like move close to me and I’ll help you. She has not, I now live in a tiny village, I don’t drive and I’m suffering so much from depression and anxiety that I even struggle to go to the corner shop.
I christened my son and he has 3 godmothers, one I’ve been friends with for years(****) , the other has been there way before I fell pregnant and was there through the pregnancy (****) and the 3rd is my actual sister (****)
So I had a break down when my son was about 7 months old, social services got involved and everything, when I explained this to ****, her response was how can I be friends with someone who was happy to give her son up and she turned her back on me (baring in mind, she suffers from mental health too and I have been there to support her every step of the way)
My sister is a piece of work, she hasn’t got children and when I need a break I have to bribe her with something (last thing was a jacket) to get her to have her nephew and that was only for bedtime. I’m always being told by her that this is the life I chose and this is what being a mum is about, I have to man up and get on with it, it’s not her responsibility, I’m not allowed to have a break or have time for myself, our mum did it so why can’t I etc
The final one, she was a great help when my son was a baby, she used to love taking him out and showing him off. She broke up with her partner of 5 years and I was finding money to go see her with my then boyfriend (money is tight as a single parent as many will know) but I made the trips just to make sure she wasn’t on her own.
I eventually broke up with my boyfriend and she started seeing someone. I went over her house twice, each time her boyfriend was there or her boyfriends children. There was a plan put in place which she offered to have my little boy every other weekend to give me a break so I don’t end up having a massive break down again.
Since this new guy, she’s not had him once, I’ll try and talk to her on the phone she would cut the conversation short. She bragged about how she was free for 3 weekends, knowing she hadn’t had him but had happily started looking after her boyfriends daughter whilst he was at work and hers were at their dad’s.
I’ll make this clear these no jealousy there, my problem is she can’t just pick up and drop my son when she feels like it. I said something to her and basically she deleted me from her life. Which is cool.
I just want someone to tell me if I’m wrong asking for help and how can I just make this on my own without any of these people, I’m tired of asking for help and being let down.
I’m going back to college in September because I want to better myself for mine and my son’s sake. I don’t drive and the covid thing is making me go crazy inside 4 walls.
I have tried all the help given, trust me I have. I’m tired of opening up to people. I really am.
I’m losing my will to go on.
Oh and I’m on every tablet that they can give10 August 2020 at 4:47 pm #42862
Thank you for posting here on our forum. Hopefully it won’t be too long before another parent is able to comment. Please keep an eye out for a private message from me as I will be sending you some signposting information.
Kind regards, Justine