Single mum – Moving further abroad… What are my rights?

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  • #19056 Report

    Abroad83
    Participant

    So I am now a single parent living and working (term time only) a 4 hour flight away. I am a teacher at a private, International School and my child lives with me and attends the school which I work at free of charge (fees are very high). I have been living outside of the UK for the last 6 years of my child’s life. They are almost 8 years old.

    My husband was here with us but left us two years ago and moved back to the UK. They face time a couple of times a week (if not more). I tried to set specific days for face timing to ensure it was convenient and consistent for both parties but he refused, saying he did’t want to be restricted. I am also proactive in maintaining their relationship as I personally pay for myself and my daughter to fly back every school holiday so that she can spend time with him, and other family members. In the UK he lives a 3 hour drive from where I am based and so when back here, we either meet at the airport then exchange her half way between where we live, or visa versa.

    I now have the option of a new job, but it is much further away – a 9 hour flight. This means we would only be coming back to the UK three times a year instead of five times (which we do at the moment).  I have not broached this option with him yet and am scared to do so as I know he will react badly.

    I am unsure of my rights and therefore don’t know how to tackle the situation for the best.

    Can anyone help or give me advice please?

    #19059 Report

    DeborahG
    Participant

    Do what’s best for yourself and your child.

    You’ve moved on.

    from experience , please don’t try to please everyone. You are your child’s stability. Dad left.

    The FaceTime calls can have flexibility. If available then great if not then you’re not. Your not a fly on his wall watching his moves and neither is he. Time difference is an issue and you’re a single parent who has to manage their time wisely or burn out/stress out. You need to plan. You’re a person who plans for a living which includes how it affects your family.

    Your ex is now a single man with no daily obligations to another. That’s the reality

    Don’t go down that path .

    Guilt and trying to do the right thing all the time at the expense of yourself is exhausting and she’s 8 with 10 more years of potential nonsense. Set the standard from now sweetheart ✊🏾

     

    #19060 Report

    DeborahG
    Participant

    Take the job

    if he contests deal with it then.

    He left

    #19064 Report

    Abroad83
    Participant

    Thank you…

    #19065 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    I am a working mum and it is very hard but I. Am the proudest mummy in the world. I did not let anyone or anything hold me back. I was due to work abroad but my uk boss was moaning about me going.

    I didn’t realise I was pregnant at the time so have to thank.him .  I am still in my old job and have reduced hours so I can spend time with my girl . Good luck and don’t bother with people who are jealous and have issues!!

    #19127 Report

    Abroad83
    Participant

    He pays £200 per month… never on a set date and occasionally he needs reminding!

    He started doing this 9 -12 months after he left!

    he is now living with a new partner in the UK and her two children, that often pick on my child when visits are arranged

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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