Single mum having trouble with my ex (my childs’s father)

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  • #56144 Report

    RachSingleMum
    Participant

    So my ex husband decided to break up with me whilst I was 7 months pregnant, telling me he didn’t want to be a husband and a father after all (even though he proposed and wanted to get married, wanted to have children supposedly, our son was planned and we were trying for a long time).

    After a horrible break up, him telling me things like he didn’t want our child or me and that he “wanted to see the baby first before deciding if he wanted to be a dad or not” (many more things like this).

    I moved away to be with family. He wasn’t at the birth of my son, I told him he had been born and he finally turned up 6-8 hours later. He spent some time with him then, went back home and took off his 2 weeks paternity leave, which he used to just stay at home playing video games and not once came to see our son. He was due to see him on the following Saturday but messaged in the morning saying “I am not driving hours and paying £80 for a measly couple of hours with our son”

    It has been like this for the last 16 months, he barely has anything to do with him, he has seen him a total of 6 times for an hour at a time. He shows no real interest doesn’t really ask anything about him. He skypes once a week for about 20 minutes but even then is so uninterested.

    This has been fine as I have brought my son up myself being a single mum the whole time, my son has grown into a wonderful happy healthy little boy.

    Recently I just started dating, I thought I would do the right thing and let my ex know, incase it went forward and my new partner was to meet my son. My ex said it’s fine he is happy for me then 2 days later slaps me with a nasty letter. Stating he is filling for divorce, that he is now demanding he wants to have our son for unsupervised visits for whole weekends, a whole week once a year, every other Christmas for the whole week and every other birthday. That he wants 100% involvement now in all decisions being made including religion, school, medical procedures and just generally everything in his life. He has sent multiple letters since getting more threatening and demanding since, saying if I go through legal procedures he will try and double everything he is asking for and mentioning my dating constantly.

    I am not even dating anymore as sadly if didn’t work out. I feel sick and stressed constantly because of my ex’s demands, he doesn’t even know my son there is no way he could look after him unsupervised. He has an awful temper, a large dog he can not control, he is also rather toxic, uses terrible language infront of my son and is addicted to video games. I am terrified of my son having to go and stay with him.

    Has anyone else been through this?

    #56159 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    if it goes to court, then your ex will likely get video calls or meet in a contact centre for few months, if he has not seen the child in a very long time. courts take a very cautious approach. if theres no safeguarding issues, then they will build up his contact gradually, eventually becoming every other weekend, if he wants that. It’s obvious he has some jealousy issues now that you got a new partner.

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