Single mum father threatening to go for shared custosy

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  • #41791 Report


    Hi all,

    my ex partner had all of a sudden turned against me, hes trying to do everything possible to pay as little as possible for his son, he has already tried lying to child maintenance team on how many nights a week he has his son over night, anyhow he is now screaming hes going to go for shared custody now this is something i really don’t  think he will do. But if he follows it through i just want to get the heads up on what the process is of him doing this. Like what happens first? Does he have to take me to court ect. If anyone has any info on this i would really appreciate it.

    Thank you.

    #41800 Report


    Hello, I have gone though this, firstly your ex partner, would have to seek mediation. This is a legal requirement, before they can apply to court, it’s an opportunity to discuss your concerns, and any issues you have. The mediator will mediate between you both, if you can’t come to an agreement, then it has to be filed in court.

    Once it’s in court, they will instruct cafcass, or a social work to write a report, making suggestions about the welfare of the child/children, including contact. So if you have any concerns you need to collect all this together with evidence, to present to the report writer.

    However the courts will always think about what’s best for the child/children and disregard parents requirements.

    If there has been any domestic violence, then this become much more messy, as the court now are enforced by law, to take this in to consideration, again though you need to show evidence of this, not just your word. If this is the case, you can apply for legal aid, under the domestic violence rule.

    This whole situation is lengthy, stressful and exhausting. If you can come to an agreement via mediation, it would then be wrote out as a order, then you would present this in court, and it would be agreed. With a contact order you can out ever single detail in there, such as Christmas birthdays, where the passport should remain, how long you can go on holiday for. A contact order last until that child/children turn 16 yes old.


    I feel your pain, my son is 13yrs old, we have just shirt of three years left of a contact order, it’s been in place for 11yrs.


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