Single mom and feeling utterly alone

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  SiennaClover 1 week, 2 days ago.

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  • #29088 Report

    SiennaClover
    Participant

    I’m a parent for the first time and found out the day I gave birth that my partner had a child by another woman 4 days prior to my son being born. My son is a month old and while I’m beyond blessed to have a happy healthy little boy, I feel utterly broken…

    Needless to say we’re no longer together and I just need some friendship/companionship to just be able to vent and perhaps complain?

    Haha I’m taking this in stride but those nights alone do make you feel worthless sometimes like am I that bad of a judge of character; that in the three years we have been together how did I not see who you truly were?!

     

     

    #29089 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Vent away. We all need to rant sometimes. No-one will mind 😊

    I didn’t fall for quite the same lie as you but I can imagine how you feel.  His dishonesty says absolutely nothing about you. He’s the two-faced irresponsible prat who doesn’t deserve a family. You are still the same person you ever were.  And you’ll be a great mum.

    Be kind to yourself x

    #29094 Report

    SiennaClover
    Participant

    Thank you for the kind words and vote of confidence 😊😙

    #29095 Report

    myname
    Participant

    Hi

    Not exactly the same situation as you, but similar in that I can sometimes feel worthless and like how did I not see who my son’s father was.

    After 4 years with him and trying for a baby, once I was pregnant he went more and more distant eventually moving in with another woman and he refused to tell her about my pregnancy.

    My son is 5 now, his dad is now married to the woman he moved in with and continues to keep our son a secret from everyone he knows.

    I did allow him to see his son for ages, in the hope that he would do the right thing eventually, but he never has and I doubt he ever will.

    Logic tells me that it’s his loss and he is the person who should feel shame, but I often feel shame about it and unfortunately it is also my son’s loss and it was my loss of another parent to help, to provide support, money etc.

    All the best to you and your son.

    #29181 Report

    F1madmum
    Participant

    Hi Sienna

    I’ve done more than my fair share of ranting/venting recently, so am happy to return the listening-ear!

    Not the same situation as you, but am alone now with a toddler, and evenings are lonely.

    Plus, you have a newborn to care for, and are learning on the job, I imagine. The fact you’re saying you’re taking it in your stride is incredible! Massive respect due there.

    Your little man already idolises his mummy, I’m sure xx

    #29224 Report

    Doris222
    Participant

    Hey Sienna,

    I had a “surprise” pregnancy to a guy living abroad, so to cut a long story short I have been alone from the day I found out I was pregnant to now (my daughter is 20 months old).

    You will have some serious ups and downs, but it starts to even out as you find your groove.

    Don’t forget that you are in the most physically challenging and overwhelming part of motherhood, so please be kind to yourself and take as many shortcuts (washing up can wait!) and help as you can.

    Also, health visitors are not just there for your baby but they are also a great support to mums too. So when they ask you “How are you doing?”…answer them honestly!

    I get really lonely sometimes, and I get a bit annoyed when people tell me to join a club or go out and make new friends…I don’t have time to go to the shops let alone join a mummy group!

    That’s why forums like this are so helpful as you just need to look through and see there are lots of people in similar situations, and people that have survived them!

    So hang in there. You are amazing xxx

    #29226 Report

    SiennaClover
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your wonderful helpful and entirely on point words, taking it one day at a time learning and doing the best, and hopefully my son is happy with the job I’m doing haha

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