Single father awkward ex

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  • This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • #17745 Report

    Stavros03
    Participant

    for the last 8 years I’ve lived under my ex partners rules regarding my child she is 10 I have always paid maintenance on time exactly what I am meant to and even given extra for new clothes etc and school uniform things like that.. this weekend she has told me that my daughter is not allowed to come to spend time with me as she is naughty at school and her behaviour has been bad and she sees coming to me as a treat.. I’m all for punishment and making sure she understands right and wrong but then her mum will still allow her to play football for her team instead of coming to mine. This isn’t the first time she has done such things but it always seems her way or not at all….please can anybody tell me if I’m wrong in allowing my daughter to be kept away and what I should do next

    #17747 Report

    Stavros03
    Participant

    I’ve tried to discuss this many times each time she kind of agrees untill she wants to make plans on our weekend most of the time we are able to swap about and I usually accommodate around that but she will organise sleepovers on our weekends which sent as important as family gatherings she may have… I’ve been mediation twice both times she has refused and talked me round and then reverts back after . She makes out I’m the problem and that I don’t support her with discipline but I don’t believe in screaming and shouting at her it’s better to talk it through and understand why she does things

    #17753 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    If you’ve been to mediation twice I think it’s time to get a court order.

    your daughter shouldn’t see visits to her father as a treat, they should be a part of normal life.

    I’d have one last conversation with your ex to make it clear you want to see your daughter regularly on pre-agreed dates. Do not be talked round.

     

    #17785 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m confused. Your ex should deal with your daughter’s behaviour appropriately.

    Refusing a visit to you is not appropriate and then to imply that “it’s all your fault?!”

    You’ve been to mediation twice and she didn’t attend? Can you get the required note from the mediators saying that mediation is not appropriate, because of your ex refusing to attend . She will have to answer for her non attendance at mediation when attending court.

    Everyone concerned needs routine, including who has your daughter.

    Hate to say this but your ex sounds controlling and manipulative.

    You can issue the C100 against her, asking the courts to approve your schedule for contact. She may of course see reason and try to resolve this matter before court.

    Best wishes to you and please let us know how you get on

    #17786 Report

    Stavros03
    Participant

    I can try yes but the problem I have is they have been different mediation centres over a period of time ….  so I don’t hold much hope of getting anything that way… I can guarantee she won’t go again and expect I don’t go to court… I’m sick of the way she is I have many faults but being a good dad is what I pride myself on and I’ve never denied her or not stood up for my daughter my ex doesn’t realise how lucky she is that she has the father supporting her financially  and being here for the child as there’s lots that don’t give a monkeys about there kids…. all I want is to have structure and be able to see my kid on a regular basis before she gets to the age of being too old and not wanting to come anyway…. do you no how much the court costs are involving taking my ex to court after mediation?

    #17787 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    C100? £215. I can’t remember if there’s a fee for MIAM cert

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