single dad struggling like hell

[ArchiethebullParticipant]

Hi Dont mean to sound weak but I’ve been separated for over a year now after 20years with my ex and I have three kids with.  I’m still in a serious depression and hav had many counselling sessions and antidepressants to no avail.  My ex is pushing forward with divorce and I am in a terrible state can anyone help I’m desperate?

[Mum02Participant]

I am a widow so I don’t know what it’s like to be divorced although I have seen plenty of people go through it. All I can say is that in time it will get easier all though will hurt and you will have times that you can’t go on. You can as you have got your kids. You are not weak for asking for help that shows strength  we are all humans and somethings can get to much.

Take care sorry I couldn’t help.

[PeterDParticipant]

Hi A

It is hard sometimes unbearable. My kids mother walked out on us so she could get a younger model🤢🤢

As M says it does get better over time although it may not seem that way at the moment but it does.

We were together for 23 years and when she said she wanted out I was devastated. Panic attack’s the feeling of loss and so on.

To be blunt ( and I do apologies) you have to get on with your life not only for the kids sake but also for you. It is hard I know I’m in my mid 50s and I have the odd wobble now and again but nowhere near as often.

The most important thing now is you 4.

Regards

P

[ArchiethebullParticipant]

Thankyou so much for replying it means a lot

[SoccerDadParticipant]

You don’t sound weak – it takes a great deal of strength to open up and seek help and support – and you’ve been through a lot. It will take time, but it will get better – you have three amazing kids, and once the divorce is through, you can then start to move on. I separated from my STBEW after 20 years together, and it was really tough for a while, but it does get better. Remember – what you are feeling now is temporary – you won’t always feel like this, and it will get better. The clouds start to clear, especially once the divorce is through as you are then able to close the book on that chapter of your life, and start a new one. You’ll start to make positive plans for the future, I even did a bucket list of things I would love to do in the future. I still have tough days, but the clouds are clearing now and I’m making progress – you will too. Keep going, you’ll learn to love yourself, and things will get brighter!

[GingerbreadJustineModerator]

Hi Archiethebull

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time.  I will be sending you a private message with some signposting options.

Thanks, Justine

[BluebirdSueParticipant]

Hi Archie

I don’t know what it is like to split up with someone after many years.

What I do know is that in time you may find being single again can have some positives. We may have new interests, find new places to travel and meet new people, even another partner if you like.

I know its early days for you but try and find something that makes you happy and stick with it 😀

[ArchiethebullParticipant]

Thank you Sue I cant stop feeling Ive let my kids and everyone down  it absolutely awful dont know How I can go on living like this soon to b put out family home too and fear I’ll lose my job too

[BluebirdSueParticipant]

I understand its a huge shock, having a long term relationship ending and it takes a while to come to terms with it. In my experience I find it helps now to focus more on the basic necessities

1. Your living arrangements

2. Your work

I don’t know about your children or how they feel about the whole thing. But you need to feel secure in those two other things first because they are the basics. Does that make sense? 😀

[LakParticipant]

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. You are not alone.

I bet there are many of us sitting at home feeling exactly the same.

I’m currently seperating from my husband of 12 years. We have a ten year old son.

It’s hard isn’t it?

 

[ArchiethebullParticipant]

Yes Lak it absolutely awful and cruel but i suppose some people have to suffee this terrible time and that would b all of us here whilst the other halves go on like nothing happened

[ArchiethebullParticipant]

Thankyou Sue I know the basics are important and I need to sort this just struggling to function even after all this time coming off the antidepressants as I feel they are making me worse maybe this will help x

[BluebirdSueParticipant]

Hi, have you come off anti depressants gradually or did you just decide to stop taking them? Because the latter can make it much worse.

I only know because I have had friends who have been on these tablets 🙂

[ArchiethebullParticipant]

Hi Sue Ive been on a few i just reduced from 40 to 20 dont feel no different from been on them i had problems coming off them before i had to they were making me worse x

[BluebirdSueParticipant]

Well that’s good. I can only advise but only you know yourself best 🙂 and you sound like you are feeling a bit better so that’s good.

I would really try and get into a hobby, because we all need that break. Are you still worried about the other two things house and job?

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