Single Dad issues

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  • #19740 Report


    Hey guys! So I’ve foundthis whole separation quite draining but having spoken with my GP, I was advised to visit the form here to try and obtain some information from those whom may be in a similar position.


    I’m a single dad of two young children (both under 6 and one of whom is in receipt of middle rate DLA). When I split with my wife, I left my job (as I worked from home), moved out where I now rent a room locally and inherited the debt we had through loans and I allowed her to keep all of the electricals etc. The children live with her

    The problems I have are mostly around work and my rights to adequate housing and I am struggling to find answers from those that you’d think would help such as the Jobcentre and the council. With the kids, the ex wants me to have them over some of the time and alternate weekends which id love nothing more but given I rent a room, its not safe or fair to banish them to just this part of a house and I didnt know what my rights were if any? I cant afford to rent a place with all my other outgoings and Universal Credit only look at the current situation and not what my bills may be and therefore they wont offer any housing or benefits to enable this to happen


    Secondly, I would love to get a 9-5 Mon-Fri type job back but my ex is currently backing me into a corner as she works some evenings in the week which is stopping me. As she has parental responsibility over the children(and receives all benefits in respect of this), is she able to determine what hours I can and can’t do? Believe, I’ve tried to be amicable about it but it gets me nowhere

    If someone could advise, it would go a long way to getting mento where I need to go.






    #19746 Report


    Hi Steve,

    Basically, no, your ex can’t dictate to you when you work. Obviously you have to get a job that allows you to support yourself and see your children in decent surroundings. Your ex is the resident parent and it’s up to her to arrange childcare, not just assume you are on call.

    Having said that, obviously you need to work as a team to ensure your kids are ok.

    I suggest you tell your ex you need to look for a better job in order to cover all the outgoings and so she needs to think about childcare. Be firm but give her as much notice as you can. Point out that the more you earn, the higher her CMs payment will be.  Communicate by email, and make it clear you are happy to try to compromise on what will work for you both. Good luck with the job hunt.

    #19836 Report


    Hey, sorry you’re going through this. I’ve never been through this personally but my best friend has, would your ex let you spend time with the kids and stay at their house to do so? My friend ended up having to rent a room and when he explained the situ to his ex they made the agreement that on set days he would stay there and if it’s weekends he tries to get them out of the house if he can so that it’s not too uncomfortable. Ex also can’t  dictate when you do and don’t work, Hope things get better for you xx

    #19872 Report


    Thank you, this information is greatly appreciated 😍x

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

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