Single Dad

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  SoccerDad 2 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #25165 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi

    This is my first time on here.

    Well my wife of 20 years decided that she wanted to separate. It came totally out of the blue. So I moved out and she had our children stay with her. However she couldn’t cope and I had to get social services involved. They ended up placing a child protection order on all the of my children because of her lack of care.

    My children then moved in with me over a year ago and with the help of Social services and other agencies everything has improved so much that the child protection order was reduced to a children  in need. Only the week social services told me that they will no longer be involved as they are happy with the progress😁😁😁

    My ex leads her own life now.

    But can anyone tell me why I miss her.

    Even though I know it for the best.

    PeterD

    #25167 Report

    GirlWithTheMostCake
    Participant

    Sometimes feelings are hard to let go of no matter what the object of the affection is like in person and how we have suffered. Give yourself time to heal and pat yourself on the back daily that you are doing the best for your kids. X

    #25169 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi

    Thanks for you kind words they mean lot.

    😁😁😁

    #25170 Report

    GirlWithTheMostCake
    Participant

    You’re welcome. Be kind to yourself. You are doing a top job.

    #25171 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    I hope so lots of people are telling me. It’s just strange I can go for long periods of time not hurting them all os a sudden.

     

    #25172 Report

    GirlWithTheMostCake
    Participant

    It happens. You are grieving, same as if they’d died. It takes time to recover.

    #25174 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi I agree it’s just like a big circle. I honestly thought I’d got to the acceptance part.

    I think because it’s all become official recently the hurt has raised its ugly head again🙁😐

    #25200 Report

    Newsinglemummy
    Participant

    Peter,it sounds like you’ve had a brutal year or so…I know that feeling when the hurt pops up out of nowhere again but do you feel you recover quicker now? I also miss my ex but he has also done some dreadful things…I think maybe we miss the idea of them or the presence of having someone else around to support us. It’s frustrating isn’t it? I can’t understand how any mother or father can walk out on their children or move on without fighting for their relationship. Your children will be so glad their dad took such good care of them when they look back when they are older…and you will have healed by then I’m sure xx

    #25201 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi Newsinglemummy

    Thank you for your kind words.

    I do seem to heal quicker but as you know it can hit you anywhere at anytime.  I said before in one of my posts a big part of the hurt cycle is the change to routine we have been used to. It may sound a bit selfish but it lends it to everything we do in life be it changing job and so on. So I found The sooner I excepted this things strangely got a bit easier and wasn’t constantly seeing little triggers that reminded me of past times. Wow I hope that makes sense.

    Peterd

     

    #25202 Report

    SoccerDad
    Participant

    Hi,

    I think we miss being in a couple, but one day, if you want to, you’ll find someone new and start afresh – and you’ve done a brilliant job with your children, which is the most important thing!

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